photo{s} a day, twenty two: on morality.

Please, take 3 minutes and read this, first.
http://restore-ministries.org/raise-pagan-kid-christian-home/

 I have been processing this article all day.  Wow.  Food for thought, no?  In particularly,
"Do you teach your kids “be good because the Bible tells you to” or do you teach your kids that they will never be good without Christ’s offer of grace? There is a huge difference. One leads to moralism; the other leads to brokenness.  One leads to self-righteousness; the other leads to a life that realizes that Christ is everything and that nothing else matters."

 mo·ral·i·ty

 noun - beliefs about what is right behavior and what is wrong behavior.

 Are we not immediately taught what is "good" and what is "bad" from the get go?  Even, labeling a person as good or bad?  "Oh, he's such a good baby", or praising a child for a "good" behavior - "good girl!".  We are labeling them according to their actions.  I completely agree with the authors sentiment,
"I want my kids to be good. We all do. But as our kids grow up, the truth of the gospel can easily get lost somewhere between salvation (where we know we need Jesus) and living life (where we tend to say “I’ve got this”). "

Interesting, for sure.  I believe I blogged about this briefly before, but growing up, I was "the good girl".  More often than not, I did the right thing.  I did what I was "supposed" to do because I was built that way.  It's part of who I am.  Things are either black or white - right, or wrong.  I remember being out with my mom as a young girl and hearing people talk about how "good" I was.  I was very shy and also obedient - I certainly aimed to please.  I also remember hearing as a teenager how "good" I was.  The problem with this was that deep down {and I'm not even sure I realized this}, I started to believe it.  That's where the pride snuck up on me.  It kind of secretly became my thing - I didn't drink, I didn't cuss, I did all my homework and was responsible, had a job, didn't date, had never kissed a guy - etc.   To the world, these behaviors were affirming, and before I knew it, I got sucked into the idea of equating my morality with spirituality.  I suppose you could argue my morality was based on my spirituality - but I'm not sure it always was.  Why?  Because I didn't need God to do the right thing - I was just going to do it because it was right.  

I see it in my kids.  One is extremely black and white.  Right is right and wrong is wrong.  The other will push every button around the issue in order to do whatever he can get away with.  If you say, "don't drink that soda", the one simply will not.  The other will say, "weeeell, you said don't drink the soda - but you probably just meant don't drink all of it.  You didn't mean I couldn't have one drink."  Same instructions, two completely different responses.  And baby J would probably just pick it up and dump it on the floor.  

I found this C.S. Lewis quote that I love.  "The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us."   

"God made us good only through the atoning work of Calvary.  We became righteous because of His love that was most vividly displayed on the cross as John wrote, “In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10)."  


If you were to ask me "what's the one thing that I want to pass on to my kids", hands down, I would say that I want them to understand the depth of God's love and realize their need for him.  How am I doing with that?  Well, that's what I'm asking myself now.  Are there things I need to change?  How can I do this?  I loved this challenge, 
"Consider the key objectives you have for your kids.  If your goals are focused on your kids’ behavior, their happiness, or their accomplishments (but don’t include a dependence upon Christ and a submission to His will and work), then you might want to make some adjustments."

Of course, these are things that concern me.  I do want well behaved kids.  And, to be honest, I love to see them happy - but not at the expense of them missing the whole point.  I want them to be fulfilled and content in Christ - not in living the perfect life, or even for everything in their life to be easy.  I want their value to be found in Him.  I want them to realize that nothing else matters apart from God.      

My pride and thinking I can do anything on my own is the biggest obstacle between myself and God.  I have truly come to grasp that there's nothing "good" in and of myself.  But that doesn't mean I don't still try - and struggle.  I struggle with "looking" perfect - from my role as a mom and wife, to my house being oh so clean, to trying to be in shape, to always being put together, etc.  I also hate criticism - it immediately puts me on guard.  Deep down, I just want everyone to love me and think I'm great.  But, I am slowly learning {way too slowly for my liking} that I am nothing.  Anything "good" in me is of God.  Everything else - anything that I can preface with "I" or "mine" - is not.  And the love I need to be searching for should be from God - not from others.  It's only when I find my contentment in Him, and truly grasp HIS love, that everything else will fall into place.  My insecurities, my perfectionism, my pride - will become less and less, as He will become greater and greater.  

And that's what I want for my kids.  

"He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less" John 3:30 
mischief I tell ya - mischief!  ;)

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