30 Days of Thankfulness
I mentioned in my post yesterday my plan to take each day in the month of November to reflect on the things I'm thankful for. I thought I would make one post and update the same one each day. These are also in no particular order :)
November 1: I am thankful for a merciful God. "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness." Though I am flawed - though I sin, I have a loving God that has mercy and compassion. I don't deserve anything - yet He gave me everything. Not only did He sacrifice His Son so that I might live, He offers His grace with each day - with each moment. I am never beyond the reach of His grace. Every moment is a new opportunity. He is faithful. And I am ever so thankful. There's no way I could adequately put it into words. Simply, impossible. Thank you Lord, that Your mercies are new every morning.
November 2: I am so thankful for my family. I was blessed with two, loving parents that were always there for and supported me. Now, after having been a parent, I realize what a difficult task this is. It’s easy to love my kids, but making the *best* decisions, disciplining, and the day to day things can be trying at times. It’s worth every second, but it’s the biggest responsibility I’ve ever have. I constantly ask for wisdom and often times patience on bringing up my boys. I have a much greater appreciation for my parents and realize now that even though I didn’t always understand their reasonings behind everything or even agree, I was naive. They were looking out for my best interests, whether I always understood it or not. I am so grateful that they brought me up in church, shared with me about the love of God and were good role models. I love you guys. Also, my brother, who has become an inspiring example to me. He is a devoted father and husband who loves and serves the Lord.
I am also thankful for the little family that God has blessed me with. I don’t know what my life would be without it. I am thankful for a husband that works hard to provide for our family, even though it’s not always easy and always trusts that God will provide. He is one of the hardest workers I've ever seen, has a real heart for the students he works with and deeply cares for his family. I love every second of watching Dusty interact with the boys. They adore him and it’s incredible to watch those relationships constantly grow. There is not a moment that I look at my boys, even when they’re being total stinkers, that I don’t think to myself how lucky I am. I couldn't have hand-picked two more perfect boys to fit into our family unit. They’re simply great.
I am also thankful for the little family that God has blessed me with. I don’t know what my life would be without it. I am thankful for a husband that works hard to provide for our family, even though it’s not always easy and always trusts that God will provide. He is one of the hardest workers I've ever seen, has a real heart for the students he works with and deeply cares for his family. I love every second of watching Dusty interact with the boys. They adore him and it’s incredible to watch those relationships constantly grow. There is not a moment that I look at my boys, even when they’re being total stinkers, that I don’t think to myself how lucky I am. I couldn't have hand-picked two more perfect boys to fit into our family unit. They’re simply great.
Of course, I am also thankful for all my extended family. There’s way too many people to go into greater detail, but I do have a post, “Families Are Like Fudge”, where I did just that :) Family is such a gift - whether far or away. I cherish the family that God has given me. Thank you God, for each person in my family that has helped to mold, challenge, inspire and love me.
“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live”. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
November 3: I'm thankful for the little things and the small moments that make life special. I love when Eli wakes up every morning, comes to find me either working out or already getting ready and says with a sheepish grin, "It's Eliiiii!" I also love that he insists on being a burrito every morning after his bath. I love that Silas doesn't have a pet, so he makes his own - either imaginary, by making Eli be his pet, or by putting a plastic frog in a tupperware container with water. I love that we can get pillows, blankets, popcorn & snacks and have a movie night together. I love when I'm having a rough morning, I can go get a soda from the gas station across from the school and feel better. I love hearing Eli sing songs in the car and watch him dance or do motions through my rear view mirror. I love how Silas always tells me when I pick him up from school, "Momma, I missed you so much." I love the sound of my kids laughing and playing together and how they run and hug one other when they see each other for the first time after school. I love the seasons and how I'm always ready for the next one - it's amazing how God orchestrated that so perfectly and how there's the natural progression and longing for the next. I love rainbows after the rain. I love taking my boys to the lake and feeding the ducks. I love driving with the windows down and the music on on a perfect, sunny day. I love simplicity. I love that even our faith calls for simplicity - like that of a child. "And He called a child to Himself and set him before them,and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." I love that no matter what, there's always something to rejoice about. All I have to do is open my eyes and my heart and I can see the many reasons I have to be thankful. Thank you God, for the precious moments in life that you give us. They make it all worth while.
“Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live”. 1 Thessalonians 5:18
November 3: I'm thankful for the little things and the small moments that make life special. I love when Eli wakes up every morning, comes to find me either working out or already getting ready and says with a sheepish grin, "It's Eliiiii!" I also love that he insists on being a burrito every morning after his bath. I love that Silas doesn't have a pet, so he makes his own - either imaginary, by making Eli be his pet, or by putting a plastic frog in a tupperware container with water. I love that we can get pillows, blankets, popcorn & snacks and have a movie night together. I love when I'm having a rough morning, I can go get a soda from the gas station across from the school and feel better. I love hearing Eli sing songs in the car and watch him dance or do motions through my rear view mirror. I love how Silas always tells me when I pick him up from school, "Momma, I missed you so much." I love the sound of my kids laughing and playing together and how they run and hug one other when they see each other for the first time after school. I love the seasons and how I'm always ready for the next one - it's amazing how God orchestrated that so perfectly and how there's the natural progression and longing for the next. I love rainbows after the rain. I love taking my boys to the lake and feeding the ducks. I love driving with the windows down and the music on on a perfect, sunny day. I love simplicity. I love that even our faith calls for simplicity - like that of a child. "And He called a child to Himself and set him before them,and said, "Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." I love that no matter what, there's always something to rejoice about. All I have to do is open my eyes and my heart and I can see the many reasons I have to be thankful. Thank you God, for the precious moments in life that you give us. They make it all worth while.
"I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness;
I will sing the praises of the name of the LORD Most High." Psalm 7:17
November 4: I am thankful for rest. I recently heard a sermon that was speaking on spiritual disciplines and one of the disciplines was rest. Rest? Yes, rest. Honestly, I had never thought of or heard this point before, but found the points to be so very true. Consider this - God designed us to need rest. Really, if you think about it, 1/3 of our life is for the sole purpose of sleeping. God even created a day for rest. Even though this is the case, not everyone chooses to live like this. It seems most people I know are tired or exhausted a good amount of the time. Isn't it true that we often just go, go, go? There's always something we have to accomplish and not enough hours in the day. There's work to be done, errands to be run, places to take the kids, meals to be cooked, bills to be paid, etc. etc. We are busy, busy, busy and there's simply not enough time in the day for all the responsibilities have and maybe even place upon ourselves. If rest was God's design, why do we live contrary to that? Do we not trust that He knows what He's talking about? Put the spiritual aside for just a moment and think about our physical bodies. When we get to the point of exhaustion, sometimes we can't even think straight. We are able to focus more clearly, be more productive and do our tasks even better when we have a sound mind to do so. I read somewhere that this discipline replenishes our spirit, renews our mind and reorients our focus. Are we so thoughtful of ourselves that we think the world will stop spinning if we don't just finish that one thing? After all, it's hugely important.
This was something that was incredibly convicting to me, because I am such a Type A and perfectionist. It's hard for me to stop something before I finish. When I have my mind set to do something, I need to do it...then. Or, at least I tell myself that. I think balance is the key to most things. I have to learn to prioritize and realize what's really important.
Setting the physical aspect of rest aside, I am thankful that God gives us rest for our souls. When our hearts are weary or our burdens heavy, He longs to give us rest. "Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
"In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe". Psalm 4:8
"The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams".
Psalm 23:1-2
Thank you God, for giving us the ability to rest - not only physically, but spiritually. You know what I need, more than I even know for myself. May I put my trust and confidence solely in you, and practice this important discipline.
I peeped in the boy's room last night to make sure they were sleeping. I found both of them sleeping so peacefully and of course grabbed my camera. We often hear the phrase, "sleeping like a baby". Wouldn't it be nice if we could all sleep, this peacefully, without a care in the world?
November 5: I am thankful for the countless things that make life easier, that I often take advantage of. We live in a day and age where we have access to a world of technology and convenience. Sometimes it's easy to overlook these things, until there's a problem. For instance, at some point and time we have had issues with all of our major appliances and were without them for a time until they could be repaired. Once, our washer broke - I had to haul my laundry back and forth to my in-laws for awhile and it was clearly a hassle. Another time, our dryer went out - my house looked like a giant clothes line, which took me near insanity with the mess! Our dishwasher had an issue - I had little motivation to cook, because hand washing dishes is certainly not a fun task. Our air conditioning was out for a week in the middle of the summer - and honestly, I was a complete baby about it. It was uncomfortable, and I didn't enjoy it. Our tv lamp was out for about a week until a new one came in - living without a tv caused us to be more creative with our time, that's for sure. Our microwave is currently broken - this means I have to be incredibly on with the timing of dinner, otherwise Dusty's food is cold. Granted, some things can sit and simmer on the stove, but with other foods, once they're done, they're done. This, also, kind of makes cooking frustrating since I cannot re-heat if needed. I have to wait around to start until I know Dusty is on his way home. This also means I cook completely separate meals for the boys, since they eat much earlier.
After re-reading the above, it sure sounds like we have a bunch of old appliances! But, these were all brand new when we moved in - crazy how stuff happens! Anyway, I also think about technology. We have all the information in the world at our fingertips with the internet. We can look up anything from where to get the best deal on something we'd like to purchase, to checking health symptoms, to ordering things online instead of having to shop at the store. It's rare you hear of anyone being completely stranded without a phone or easy access to help, because everyone has a cell phone. If I get lost, all I have to do is punch an address into TomTom and it directs me exactly where I need to go. We have it so easy! Everything is a matter of perspective. I remember back to mine and Dusty's first year in Chicago. We lived in a teeny tiny studio apartment with no dishwasher, no washer and dryer and few "things". But, that was normal. We functioned without those things, because that is what we had to do.
We are so used to everything being easy, that when something goes wrong, we tend to gripe and complain. Rather, we should stop and think about what we have, rather than what we don't have. It seems that along with the more things we have, comes the desire for even more stuff. It's always the next thing that will make us happy. If we could just have that new computer, or new couch, or whatever it is that is currently a "need" in our minds, we have the notion that then we'll be satisfied. So untrue. Thinking about all the things I have that make my everyday tasks easy, I realize how lucky I am. When I really stop and count my blessings, it's overwhelming. And, it gives me an attitude of thankfulness, rather than that of ingratitude and selfishness.
Thank you God, for all the things, big and small, that make my life easier. Help me not to overlook these things, but realize they are blessings.
"And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:20
November 6: I am thankful for Saturday mornings. There is no schedule, no rush - the only day of the week where we can relax as a family, free of any obligations. We don't have to wake up to an alarm, spending the morning getting everything together for school, getting dressed and getting out the door with lunches, sharing, school bags, etc. etc. If the boys want to be Batman and Robin, so be it. And that's just what they did today. We turned on the Batman theme song and they ran around, "showing us their moves".
"You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
Psalm 16:11
November 7: I am so thankful for health. Again, this is something we often take for granted, until we are sick or a loved one becomes really ill. I am beyond grateful that I have two healthy little boys. My biggest concerns are an occasional runny nose or a boo boo. Thank you God, that you have blessed my family - all being healthy, strong and able to go about our every day lives with ease.
"Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me.
He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases".
Psalm 102:2-3
November 8: God, my God, is All-powerful, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Eternal, Holy, from Everlasting to Everlasting - He is Love. I could make an endless list of words describing God. So many of the things of God are even beyond our comprehension. For instance, eternity. We live in time - we can learn about the concept of eternity, but the thought of no beginning or no end is really hard for our minds to grasp. He is all-knowing - He knows all that ever was, is and is to come. Mind boggling. But the craziest part is the very same God that created the universe and who exists beyond time desires a personal relationship with me - me! Though I cannot fully understand it, I do believe it and am so very thankful for it.
"I am the Alpha and the Omega -- the Beginning and End -- the First and the Last." Revelation 22:13
Thank you, Almighty God, for loving me.
November 9: Today didn't begin with the best perspective. A number of things were on my heart and mind and at points I felt as though I could cry. After work, I did my usual thing, putting on my running clothes and driving to the lake. It's funny the things that can cheer you up. I put the boys in the stroller and started walking towards the trail. Wait a minute! I forgot. My stroller tires had been filled - I've been pushing the stroller with practically flat tires for quite some time. My runs have become more something I dread than look forward to. But not today. Today, I was flying. I could have run forever. It felt like there were no kids in the stroller and I wasn't out of breath pushing it 10 feet. I immediately perked up. I turned my music on full blast, and ran. It could not have been a more perfect day. The sun was shining, the sky was a spectacular blue and there was a crispness in the air. The water was practically glowing from the sun shining on it and I began to really take notice of the beauty around me. When I was finished, I let Silas get out and play in the water. I sat there watching him splash, throw rocks and run around without a care in the world, giggling to himself. The pure excitement and joy that stems from a child is brilliant. There's nothing like observing their sweet innocence. Eli was sleeping so peacefully in the stroller, also without a care in the world.
Two things came to my mind - a song and a Scripture. I thought I'd share both.
"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!"
Psalm 46:10
To anyone that actually reads this, please take a few moments and listen to this - its truly beautiful. When I eventually get a website, I'd love to put this on there.
https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/05%20-%20Beauty%20in%20the%20Still.mp3?w=da225762
Today, I'm thankful for beauty in the still. We can find beauty in anything, when we're looking. Thank you God, for showing me this today.
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| Pure fun |
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November 10: Today I turned the tables - to Silas. We were doing our usual thing. I had just finished my run, Eli was enjoying his afternoon nap in the stroller and Silas was throwing rocks. I was sitting on the ground observing him and started up a conversation. I asked, "Silas, do you know what Thanksgiving is?"
Still throwing rocks, not even glancing back at me he immediately replied, "Yes, it's where you eat lots of food."
"It's a day where we think of all the things we have to be thankful for. What are you thankful for, Si?"
Without a thought he blurted out, "I'm thankful for my name. Also roller coasters, and mostly Disneyland."
Okay, well I'm glad he likes his name, he's never been on a roller coaster and there's no doubt our whole family loves Disneyland. I questioned further, "Are you thankful for mommy and daddy?"
"Yeah, I am. Sure."
Typically, Silas has an earful of things to talk about - often inquiring, sometimes profound and pretty much always sweet. Granted, today he was occupied picking out the perfect rocks and throwing them in the water to see how many ripples he could create. He was focused. He was very matter of fact, really uninterested in a deep conversation. However, I thought his reply was funny because of what he said, how he said it and how quick his response was. Maybe he's preparing me for the future. After all, he is a boy - I know in the years to come he'll be less and less interested in deep conversations with his mommy and more concerned with playing with his friends, being involved in sports, playing video games, etc, etc. He has countless adventures and dreams ahead of him. My little boy is growing up.
So today, I am thankful for Silas. I am thankful for the amazing little boy he is, the sweet and innocent child-like moments I can still enjoy for now, and am hopeful for the man he will become. He is such a gift and I am ever so thankful for the joy of being his mommy. Thank you God, for this precious little boy. He fills our hearts with love beyond measure and is a tremendous blessing in our lives.
Here's a few photos from our time together today - my little boy, being a boy!
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| He wrote his name in the sand |
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| Writing his name |
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| An ant was crawling on his hand and it was fascinating. |
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| Jumping. My favorite part is he's got his car in his hand. |
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| Fearless. |
November 11: I am so thankful for my little E. From the get go, he had a smile that lit up the room. He brings so much joy and laughter to our home, and definitely keeps us on our toes with what he'll be up to or say next. He's a such a fun age - not a baby, but not quite a big boy. He loves to do everything his big brother does and is full of adventure. He brightens my day every morning when he peeps out of his room, full of life, smiles and energy. He makes our world a better place - I couldn't imagine my life without his sweet, sweet personality and ear to ear grin. I love that kid. I should also mention, not to be left out - I asked Eli what he was thankful for. He replied, "Dino - sauuuuuurs! And, Buzz Lightyear."
Thank you God, for knowing just what we needed - even when we didn't. Sweet Eli, our little surprise, turned out to be the best surprise ever. I love you, Eli Jackson Sniff!
Here's a few photos of my boy - I was just watching him play, and snapped some shots. I love capturing real life moments.
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| Watching Eli watch the ducks |
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| Crawling through the bushes |
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| Laughing at the ducks |
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| Pure joy. |
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| Finding rocks to throw |
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| Perfect depiction of my sweet Eli |
So, the one thing I was looking forward to - well, that failed too. 1/2 a mile into my run - POP! - one of my freshly aired tired exploded. What to do?
My only option was to make Silas get out and walk. I just couldn't push it.
We finally made it back to the gate - did I mention Silas, whom we often refer to as Molasses, walks slower than a snail? We went to our usual spot for throwing rocks. I sat down next to the stroller and just watched Silas. At some point, he came and sat next to me.
"Momma, what's wrong?"
"Nothing Si - mommy's kind of having a bad day."
"Because of the tire?"
Knowing I can't really spill my guts to my 4 year old, I could only respond, "Yeah."
He said, "Well, it's okay momma. If it's bad, then it's actually good."
I was kind of confused as to what he meant. Out of curiosity, I tried to get in his little brain. "What do you mean by that, Silas? If it's bad, then how can it be good?"
"I mean, it's not really bad. It's good. You just have to wait five minutes."
I can always count on my 4 year old to put things in perspective. He was basically saying, "It really can't be all that bad. It'll get better. Just wait."
Isn't that so true? And really, even though aspects of today have been crummy and I've been discouraged, how would we appreciate the good if it weren't for the bad? That's exactly how we take things for granted and become ungrateful. So today, I am thankful for the bad days. I am thankful that everything doesn't always go my way. Besides, perhaps my way really isn't the best way. If God gave me everything I wanted, who knows where I'd be or what my life would look like. We have such a limited perspective. We must trust that God knows what's best and that He can work in any circumstance.
"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Thank you God, for today - even if everything wasn't how I would have planned it. And in the scheme of things, there's lots of worse things going on in the world than my small problems. Thanks for showing me this.
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| My flat tire... |
November 13: I'm thankful that we were created with the capacity to learn, discover and explore. The past couple years, I've learned things I never knew would interest me, and done things I never thought I would do. It's inspiring to know that only I can limit myself. There is a world of opportunity, and if I set my mind to do something, I can do it.
Growth is an amazing thing, in every sense of the word - that is, physical, mental, personal, spiritual, etc. It's an incredible thing to watch my kids grow in all those aspects as well. Last night we went to a football game. Driving to the game, all Silas could talk about was playing on the field with his daddy after the game. During the game, it's all he could think about. After several hours of waiting, which was probably a lifetime to him, it was finally his chance to go on the field. His eyes lit up. His smile covered his little face from ear to ear. He was overjoyed. I can only imagine how "big" he felt after watching the football players play, and then to be able to step on the field himself. And to do that with his daddy was the best thing in the world.
Dusty reminded him of a few of the things they have been working on, regarding football. It was so sweet, and so perfect. There's nothing like watching your child do something new and thrilling, with joy and laughter overflowing from their excitement.
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| On the BIG field |
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| Future Football Player |
November 14: I'm thankful for music. Music can be so powerful - it stirs up so many emotions - from laughter to tears, can bring you back in time, can make you dance, can comfort you - it can relate to you when no one else can. It's beautiful. There's nothing like turning music up as loud as possible, letting loose of all your cares and concerns. I love it. What more can I say?
"Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth;
Break forth in song, rejoice, and sing praises."
Psalm 98:4
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| Seriously, what else do I listen to? Okay, it's not the only thing, but I LOVE Glee. |
November 15: My little E is an artist. Yes, I know he is two - and that he scribbles all over the page, just like any other two year old would do. What's unique about it, is the care with which he creates. I have seen him take a crayon and gingerly color every ounce of space on the page, taking all the time in the world. There is so need to frantically scribble or make a giant mess. Rather, he takes his time, delicately creating his masterpiece. Maybe it's ironic to me, because this is the same kid that loves to throw toys and be a rough and tough little boy. There is something beautiful in the way he goes about it.
Maybe I love seeing this in him, because I also love to create beautiful things. I love being able to look at something, and find the beauty in it. I love that God created a world of beauty. I found this quote regarding God and His creation and found it to be so true and fascinating. "He places flowers on a thousand hills where no human will ever see them. He oversees the life cycle of a myriad of stunningly beautiful insects, unobserved by any human eye. He has placed millions of galaxies far beyond the limit of human eyesight. A look at the Bird of Paradise flower or at the peacock should suggest to us that God is extravagant in his creation of beauty and wonder."
Today, I am thankful for beauty. Thank you God, for the beauty all around us - in your people and in your creation. Thank you for giving us the capacity to see and also create beautiful things.
"You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship you". Nehemiah 9:6
Today, I walked through the Bunnies area at school (with Silas, because I needed his help getting ready for our Christmas photos tomorrow), and so happened to have my camera. Eli was in the middle of art, painting a beautiful pumpkin. He was so happy. Here's a few photos...
November 16: As I wash the sheets for the third time in a week, as I clean up sticky food off the floor, as I rid the couch of Eli's snotty nose, as I change icky diapers and hear the pitter patter of tiny feet getting out of bed at night - I remind myself that these days are numbered. As I clean dirty faces, dry puppy dog tears, put on tiny socks and shoes, help brush teeth, put on clothes and rush out the door - I remind myself they won't always need my help. As I still get limited sleep from one, the other or both waking during the night, sometimes multiple times - I remind myself that sleep will come. When I wake up in the morning with 4 people crammed in a queen size bed, I remember how fast they're growing. Sitting here tonight with a headache, watching two giggling boys chase one another through the house - one Bumblebee and the other Spiderman - I know the sounds of laughter, sound effects and shrieks are precious.
Today, I am thankful for little boys. I love these times. They're growing faster than I can can blink, and will quickly be my little men. But today, they're still my babies and I am thankful for these moments that I will cherish forever. Thank you, God for big adventures, imaginary friends, superheroes, all the movies I've seen a thousand times, sticky fingers, tents, movie nights, silly words, hide and seek and the million things my boys comes up with.
"Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!"
Psalm 127:3-4
November 17: I'm combining what could have been a separate post with this post, because the story relates to what I'm thankful for today. So, without further ado - A Dentist Story.
Silas was not scared. Silas was geared up to go to the dentist and told his teachers and everyone he saw today that he was going to the dentist after school. Dusty met me from work at the dentist, so he could watch Eli while I took Silas. I had no idea what the visit would entail and the only thing I was sure of was that Silas would mostly likely need my full attention.
You know how when you take your pet to the veterinarian, the second they walk in the door, they begin to shake and are nervous? Well, that was Silas. He was like a terrified little puppy. He suddenly had to go potty, was nervously dancing around, his voice was shaking and he began asking lots of questions.
The x-ray technician could not have been nicer, but Silas wasn't having it. He was a stranger and who cares what he had to say. He put a little smiley face x-ray vest on Si, who was sitting in my lap, and showed him the x-ray machine. All Silas needed to do was bite on a piece of plastic and take 3 photos. We eventually got it done, with lots of persuasion and patience. Of course it didn't hurt, but at that point he was beyond scared and the tears began to fall.
We were escorted to the room. Silas was crying, "Momma, I want to go home. What are they going to do? I am scared. I am all done. I want to go home." He saw lots of posters on the walls with teeth and was inquiring about those, making himself even more frightened. I tried to console his fears the best I could, but absolutely nothing was working.
In came the doctor. Silas began screaming. The doctor assured Silas that he only needed to open his mouth so he could look inside - that he wasn't going to do anything but look. Silas would not let him put the tiny mirror in his mouth. The doctor managed to get a quick glance at the actual tooth in question and at the x-rays. He said nothing to me. A dental assistant came in and he began talking to her and I overheard something to the extent of, "Infection. Antibiotics. Emergency. Insurance. Specialist. Appointment." He then left, came back with a prescription saying that there was an infection and Silas needed to see a specialist. Before I could ask anything he said, "She will help you figure out the details" and walked off. To say the least, I was not all that impressed with the communication.
I was ushered to another building where the lady started spouting out things about a specialist and insurance and what do I want to do. I asked, "What do you mean, what do I want to do? I don't even know the problem. The dentist didn't even tell me what's wrong and all the sudden I need to see a specialist?"
"Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. He has an abscessed tooth that is infected. It's important that he take the antibiotic to help with the pain. We need to take care of this immediately. But the problem is we have to get a referral from the insurance company for the specialist and the quickest we can do that is 4-6 weeks, unless you want to pay out of pocket. When he comes back, we'll sedate him, take more extensive x-rays and do a mini root canal. What do you want to do?"
I was so confused. Everything happened so quickly. How does one even get an abscessed tooth - and how the heck did Silas? What do they mean, this is an emergency - but there's nothing they can do except offer a 4-6 week waiting period, even if they attempted to rush it? So frustrating. At this point, I wanted to cry because I obviously want to take care of this immediately - but I can only do what they offer in the time frame that is available.
But in the end, I am thankful that I have the means and access to dental care so I can take care of this problem in the first place. And, the same goes for medicine - at least I can give Silas something to ease his pain and clear the infection. There are people all around the world that do not enjoy these benefits that we often don't give a second thought to. Even if the process and the system can be frustrating at times, no matter what - I'm glad that this can be solved. I know that I, and probably most of the people I know, take for granted day to day things that lots of people simply live without. For many, dental care would be a dream - literally. Perspective is everything. I am so thankful I was born in a free country, that gives me the means to so many things, and that I have an incredible amount of privileges. Many people are not born into that kind of blessing and opportunity. I pray that I do not take this for-granted. I am so, so blessed and I pray that I will constantly open my eyes to that fact. I have need of nothing. Thank you, God that you provide.
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| Yes, I brought my camera. Did you really think I wouldn't?? |
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| Scared little boy! |
This is my worst enemy and my best friend. God bless whoever invented this stuff. It is pure genius - simply divine. When I have the munchies for something sweet, this is my go to guy! Don't get me wrong, I know it's pure sugar - but I do guarantee it's less calories, fat and sugar than a piece of cake or a bowl of ice cream. Don't judge - I love it! So today, I am thankful for the sugary goodness that is Reese's Puffs. It makes me happy, and sometimes - that's just what we need. It's the little things, right? If you've never tried it, I dare you to buy a box. You'll either thank me or hate me, because you'll never want to buy anything else. Warning: It's super addictive!
November 19: So, what am I not thankful for today is more the question because I can spout out a long list of things I'm thankful for. I am thankful it's Friday. It's been an incredibly long week, my brain feels fried, and I am done! I am thankful it is Thanksgiving Break. I am so thankful my mom is here for a week. I am thankful that I hear the sounds of my boy's playing in their room, excited beyond words that Mamaw is here - they are playing trains. We had our Thanksgiving Feast at school today, and I am thankful my boy's get to go to a school that puts on such special events. I am thankful for my kid's fabulous teachers that pour into their lives everyday. I am thankful that when my little E was having a complete meltdown at school today, both of his teachers individually came to him to try and make him feel better, even though I was there. I am thankful that I got my Christmas tree up and the boys LOVE it! Then again, what little boy wouldn't love an Iron Man Christmas tree?? I am blessed.
Here's some photos from today including: the fabulous decorations at school, my little Indian Silas (Eli didn't like his costume and I didn't get a photo of him, even though he was stinkin' adorable), Eli's meltdown and eventual happy self again (notice the red eyes in all his pics), Silas - the photographer (he loves to take photos and Grammy was brave enough to let him see her camera. He totally directs everyone and will make a fab photographer one day!!), a few other random photos from today, and my lovely Iron Man tree. Enjoy.
November 20: I am thankful for the relationships in my life. I am thankful for a loving God that not only created us to have a relationship with Him, but with other people. We've all heard the statement "two are better than one" and I firmly believe this to be true. Where on our own we may be weak in certain areas, another person can encourage and build us up. We have a natural longing for intimacy with people. We need our friends, parents, siblings, spouses, kids, and most importantly, God. Thank you God, that we are not in it alone. Thank you for always being there and for the people you've placed in my path to encourage me along the way.
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching". Hebrews 10:24-25
November 21: I am thankful for birthday cake. Yes, it's true. I could pass up any other dessert any moment of the day. But passing up cake, particularly with buttercream icing, would take an incredible amount of will power. I am very disciplined with working out and what I eat, so an occasional slice of cake leaves me without an ounce of guilt - don't even concern me with the calories or amount of fat. I simply don't care! It's pretty much the only food I can say that about. So, give me my cake - now, please!
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| Boy after my own heart. He's equally passionate about his cake! |
November 22: Today, I am thankful for my mom. My mom came in town for the week of Thanksgiving and it's such a breath of fresh air. My parents have gone out of their way to have close relationships with my boys, even with thousands of miles distance separating us. This means the world to me, as I want them to have that closeness with my boys. There's so many days I would do anything to have my parents closer, but that's not where God has either of us at this time. This week, I'm beyond thankful for a little extra sleep, some much appreciated help with day to day activities, good company and the joy of watching my boys have a blast with their Mamaw!
Thanks, Mom, for all your help. And thanks, Dad, for letting Mom come this week - even though I know you wish you were here too! It is your busiest time of the year, sadly. Can't wait until Christmas though :)
November 23: Tonight we went to the Viejas Casino to the buffet and so the kids could go ice skating. There was a Christmas light/water show, a huge Christmas tree and everything was decorated beautifully. I am thankful for the magic and wonder that is this time of the year - and mostly for the reason we celebrate - that is, because of the birth of Christ. Thank you God, for sending your Son so that we may live. Thank you for this holiday season and the joyous times spent with family. I love it!
Eli was too little to ice skate, so he hung out with us. He wanted to go skating, but was more than content when we got him a sucker from the candy store. He's such a happy little goofball. We love him!!
November 24: I am thankful for lazy days. It's the day before Thanksgiving, we have no work and no school - and nothing on the agenda. The boy's asked for pancakes and are watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. There's nothing like being able to relax, free of obligations or cares for the day. I am thankful for times of rest, to appreciate the important things. Thank you God, for a day with nothing to do but enjoy time with my mom and my boys, eat pancakes and watch Christmas movies.
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| Rudolph is so funny! |
Today, I will always remember going around the family circle sharing what we were thankful for. For the first time, my boy's participated. Silas said, "I am thankful for my daddy, my mommy and my home." Eli said, "I thank for dad mom." I honestly couldn't believe they spoke up in the midst of that many people, but they spouted it out without even a thought. It was precious. It was a treasure. I know one day I'll be looking back and thinking of that very moment.
Thank you God, for all my blessings. Thank you for always being there and always being in control. Even when I don't understand everything, You are still God and are worthy of all my praise. May I continually reflect on You and always be conscious of how You've have blessed me. I deserve nothing, yet You are so gracious and faithful.
November 26: This is how I feel today.
I was determined not to post this picture yet. If you're wondering about it, let's just say I did my Christmas card photo shoot the other day. I'm kind of giving away what route I'm taking with it, but oh well. This photo best illustrates me today, so I went with it. Although, I will say that Dusty helped me design my card last night, it's off to print and I didn't use this particular photo. So, there's still something to look forward to. Any guesses on my theme?!!
So, I sent my mom off on an airplane back to Texas this morning. Boo. It never gets easier. Definitely put me in a funk for today.
After we dropped her off, I went for a run. I don't know what was up - I had my music on shuffle and every song seemed fitting with my mood. Come on, give a girl a break - I didn't need a bunch of depressing songs! I came home, got ready and planned to make a trip to Target by myself. Silas was in the bedroom playing a video game with Dusty and Eli was playing with his cars, very contently, in the living room. I told him, "Bye Eli. Mommy will be back. I love you." He looked up at me with his sweet little face and replied, "Momma, can I come you?"
Who could resist? Of course he could come with me! I picked him up and we were off. As we were walking to the car, he started stroking my hair as usual and said, "Mommy, I love you so much." Irresistible boy.
We did our shopping even in the midst of the Black Friday shoppers. I don't consider myself one because I had no interest in Christmas shopping or looking for good deals - I only wanted my milk, bread and other food essentials. Being in no hurry, the crowds or long lines didn't even phase me. All the while, Eli took it upon himself to announce continuously, "Hey everybody. Eli's here!!"
It's so funny and so cute, but it took me awhile to figure out why he has to announce his presence everywhere we go. I finally put two and two together that everyday when we get to school and are walking in the gate, all his friends yell, "Eli's here!" So now, I think he thinks he's supposed to let everyone know. Funny boy.
So despite my funk, today I am thankful for my happy little Eli, that can put a smile on anyone's face. If it were possible to look at him and not be happy, something would be seriously wrong with me. Thank you Eli, for your light-hearted personality and for being my little love bug. You light up my life. Thank you, God, for giving me this special little boy. I needed his smile, his love and his adorableness today.
November 27: Today, I am thankful for Dr. "M" - my advocate for my sweet Silas. Let me explain...
Remember the Dentist Story? If you need a refresher, scroll up to Day 17.
Fast forward to last night. Last night, Silas had 5 night terrors. Night terrors were a frequent event when he was younger, but they are very rare at this point and time. Night terrors can be caused by an array of things such as a change in routine, stress, pain, having to go to the bathroom, etc. Let me emphasize PAIN. So, I've been giving Silas his amoxicillin 3 times daily for the past 9 days for his abscessed tooth. Last night was obviously horrible. This morning, I woke up and went for my run. I got a phone call from Dusty a bit later, with Silas screaming in the background. Dusty told me it was his tooth. I came home to find him inconsolable, at times in the fetal position, almost vomiting from crying so hard and crying, "Momma, please just make it feel better. Please just make it better!"
Helpless. I felt so horrible, knowing there's nothing I can do regarding the dentist or the insurance company until Monday. In the meantime, I knew he could not go on like this for another day and night. I called Kaiser. I explained to them about his abscessed tooth and how the dentist said it was an emergency, yet it would take 4-6 weeks to get approval from the insurance company to see a specialist. In the meantime, he has been on an antibiotic to rid of the infection. After a bit of persuasion, the nurse spoke with a doctor, who wanted to see him right away.
Dr. M walked in the room and I immediately liked him. You never know who you'll get at Urgent Care - definitely not my normal pediatrician who knows me and my kids, not to mention whom I trust. Once I explained the entire situation to Dr. M, I knew he felt my pain. He was upset - and by upset, I mean mad. He explained to me how serious this could potentially be. If the infection were to get into the bone, Silas could end up in the hospital or worse. He felt the amoxicillin was almost useless, being that the mouth is so full of germs, it's a mild antibiotic and considering the seriousness of said tooth. At this point, I was getting even angrier at the situation. I have felt like my hands are tied - it's an emergency, but wait 4-6 weeks?! Obviously I'll be on the phone Monday until I get an answer to this ridiculous situation, but Dr. M wrote me a nice letter to send to the insurance company to help speed up the process (See below). Hopefully it will help. He also prescribed a much more powerful antibiotic that actually will help with the infection and some Tylenol with codeine so he can sleep at night.
What I genuinely appreciated was this doctor's sincere concern. Often I"ll go to the doctor and feel as though he/she is not listening, does not quite understand or that I'm just a patient on a list to be seen. However, this doctor was doing his job. He listened, was concerned and excellent with Silas. Si was not a bit afraid or intimidated, told him all about his tooth and opened his mouth to show him without even hesitating. If you know Si, this isn't exactly how he normally reacts to "scary" situations. I am so thankful that I saw this particular doctor today, that I did think to call Kaiser and take him in and that Silas has some temporary relief. I am thankful for my sweet Silas and I pray this situation gets resolved soon. I hate to see him in pain and there be absolutely nothing I can do. No four year old should have to wait 4-6 weeks for a root canal.
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| My sweet boy this morning after a fresh dose of meds. |
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| The letter from Dr. M November 28: I simply cannot believe this month is basically over. Wasn't it just Halloween? Now Thanksgiving is over and we are into the Christmas season. Wow. On Thanksgiving Day, I mentioned we stand in a circle before we pray and everyone says what they're thankful for. Dusty mentioned time - how you learn to cherish it all the more and how precious it is to spend the moments with our boys and watching them grow and develop into little men. Yesterday, as I took Silas to the doctor, I couldn't help but look at him and stare in wonder at what a big boy he is now. We were in the parking garage, he got out of his seat by himself, closed the door and we walked hand in hand inside the Kaiser facility. He looked up at me as we were walking and said, "Mommy, I love you so much" and kissed my hand. I also couldn't help but think how easy it was not having to buckle him in and out of his car seat, carry him or lug a diaper bag around. Not to mention, we have our special little conversations where he so often seems older than his small four years. Eli and I went to the store the other day, just he and I, and I so cherished the one-on-one time with just him. It's so different with the second child, because the one-on-one interactions are rare. They only know having an older sibling, not what it's like being an only child. Though it probably makes them more well-rounded from the beginning, as all they know is sharing time and space - but sometimes I wish I had more moments with just him. I find that when I have my kids one-on-one, I see such different and unique parts of their personality come out - which I love! I think it's so important that Dusty and I both make the opportunities to spend time with them individually. Eli said another cute thing to me today as we were walking out of church. Silas and Pappy were racing to the car (Si's big thing now - racing and being the winner) and we were casually walking. Eli looked at me and said, "Mommy, be so careful with Eli." I laughed. Who knows what he was thinking or where that came from, but isn't it the truth? He is one of my little gifts from above, and I view my role as his mommy with the utmost love, responsibility and care. Being a parent is a big job - and I don't take that lightly. All of my ramblings to say, I thought Dusty's thankfulness was so very true. I do value and cherish time. I am thankful for these everyday moments that I have - big and small - that make life special. I am also thankful for the ability and means to capture these moments. I'm not sure what I'd do without my camera, but am ever so thankful for it. So that's my thankfulness for today - time and my camera :)  November 29: Today, I am thankful for dads. I am thankful for my dad and the dad that Dusty is. There is something so special about the relationship between a father and his children, completely different than that of a mother. I love watching my boys play with their daddy. This afternoon, Dusty unexpectedly came home and Silas had all sorts of "great ideas" of what they could do, including playing swords, Dusty being a horsey and riding both boys around the house and Silas pretending to be Willy the whale while Dusty fed him pretend fish. Moms can be fun, but dads are F.U.N. Even the ways in which the boys approach us are completely different. There are times I need my mom, and times I know I need to talk to my dad. It's fascinating to me. So thank you dad, for being such a great dad and friend to me, and thank you Dusty, for being a great dad to Silas and Eli.  Playing "Horsey" November 30: Well, we made it through. That's the best I can say about our experience at the dentist today. Let's just say, it didn't exactly go as smoothly as I had envisioned in my mind. After all, Silas was being sedated, right? I didn't have much time to prep Silas about going to the dentist. I only found out yesterday afternoon after spending some time back and forth on the phone with the insurance and the dentist's office. We were supposed to be there at 7:30 a.m. and Silas couldn't have anything to eat or drink 6 hours prior. No big deal. Silas was completely chill this morning, not even a bit nervous. It was like it was old news to him. When we were checking in, Silas happened to cough. The assistant nervously asked, "Is he sick? Is he sick? I just heard him cough. If he's sick then the doctor will not work on him since he's being sedated. That could be fatal" I assured her he has not been and is not sick. He just happened to cough. Someone came out and listened to his chest to make sure he didn't have any congestion and we finally got the go ahead to proceed. We went back to x-rays. Silas was a pro. He sat in the chair and I could tell he was uncomfortable, but he didn't fuss or cry even a little bit. We went to a children's waiting area and Silas watched Curious George and colored a picture of a whale. He told me, "I like whales, Momma. Whales are nice, especially hump back whales." The assistant finally came to give him his "juice" to put him to sleep. This is where everything went south. Silas would not drink it. This did not shock me. I told her, "If you have a syringe, that'll probably be easier. I really don't think he'll drink it." I'm thinking this would be no big deal at all, because I can always get medicine in him, no problem. Occasionally it takes a few minutes of coaxing, but I always convince him it's okay. Sometimes he'll even ask for medicine because he likes the way it tastes. Don't worry, I don't oblige - just saying. Well, I think he must have been intimidated by this girl. He wasn't having it. We ended up with him laying on the floor and me holding him while she put it in his mouth. He simply wasn't cooperating - and I knew he was just scared, but there was no comforting him. Once he gets to the point he was at, there is nothing that can calm him down but himself. As she squirted it in his mouth, he spit half of it out. Bad news. Since she had no way of measuring how much he actually got, she couldn't give him more so as not to overdose him. All we could do was wait. I sat there for over half an hour. He definitely was relaxing and acting a little dopey, but wouldn't go to sleep. They finally asked me to bring him back. I laid him on the chair that was reclined completely flat and he began stirring out of his slightly dazed state. The next half hour was probably the longest of my life. I don't typically get queasy, but I literally thought I was going to throw up. My eyes were tearing up and I felt so completely helpless. There he laid, strapped on the chair with a huge velcro strap from his shoulders down. He had a mask over his nose and his mouth was clamped open. He was screaming hysterically the entire time. He was beyond scared - he was frightened, and there was nothing I could do but sit and watch. He looked so pathetic laying there, I can't imagine how he must have felt. There's no way to prepare a 4 year old for a root canal - especially when I thought he'd be asleep the whole time. It was a disaster. So, I don't know who was more traumatized - him or me. It took me at least half an hour to settle down. I just felt so sick. Did I mention that we have to go through all this again? Yep. He has some cavities that have to be taken care of. {Sigh} Do I have a volunteer to take him? I'm not sure I can handle it again. Okay, I can be strong for him - but let's just pray that next time he's sleeping. Well, today is the 30th. My last entry on this post! I am thankful I took the opportunity to reflect on my blessings this month. It's helpful to consciously be aware of all the blessing we have. And even on the bad days, there's always something positive to be found. Even today! I am thankful that Silas is no longer in pain and that he is happy and healthy. If this is the least of my concerns, then I can handle that. Thank you God, for how you've abundantly blessed my life. Below are some pics from today. You can see, he did get drowsy, but it clearly was not enough! They made me put my phone away in the room, but there's no way I would have been able to take pics of that pitiful sight anyway. Sadness..      I love this kid!!     The prize he got from the dentist. It's a fan with a light on it. |
5 Comments
It's amazing HOW much for which we have to be thankful, first and foremost as a nation of believers. To try to list all our spiritual blessings is mind-boggling. Because God loves us so much He provides all our needs, according to HIs riches in glory. And He loves us too much to give us everything we want.
ReplyDeleteAs a nation, the United States is so blessed even in lean or difficult economic times. Some of our poor families have much compared to others around the world. Even with our faults, I am proud and thankful to be a citizen. God bless America.
How can I not say how thankful I am for Melissa, Dusty, Silas and Eli. Pictures don't do justice to their beautiful little lives, but they help. I am grateful for Jay, Rebekah, Haven, and Jackson as well. Thank God for children and grand-children. Not to mention, a great husband. Amy one who know me would tell you how much I love my children! I don't mean to be but sometimes I can be obnoxious! Recently a young friend of mine said, "I wish you could be my mom so I would be perfect."
The moment turn into days, weeks, months, years and so on until the babies grow into adults. It happens so fast-like a blink! But God is so gracious and He teaches us our purpose in all things, in all relationships, is to grow in our relationship with Him-our perfect Abba Father. Having friendship with your adult child is so wonderful, watching them grow in life, to walk as a fellow believer and then to become parents is such a blessing. God is so gracious to bless us with grandchildren-today and every day I am thankful for those precious reminders of my own two beautiful babies who still live in my memories as if it were yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI was just telling Geoff about your Christmas trees. Love them and the Iron Man tree is GREAT!
ReplyDeleteI have loved reading your blog this month. We have so much to thank God for every day! It was wonderful to spend Thanksgiving with you, all time is a gift. I can't believe just yesterday morning I was there. I am so grateful to have a daughter and son who love and serve God. I love reading how He is speaking to you, even in difficulties. I love watching you as pa wife and mom. You are truly an inspiration and model the Proverbs woman. It's am honor to be your mom
ReplyDeleteBeautiful-I'm so glad you realize now to cherish the moments! I know that I cherish every one I have with them and you
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