end of my rope.
{SLAM}
{SLAM}
I'm currently letting out all my aggressions with a stapler. Yep. I'm putting together some CHRISTmas booklets at work and they require stapling.
{SLAM}
I love the holidays. Christmas music. Christmas decor. All the warm and fuzzy feelings. I'm gonna be honest. I'm not feeling too fuzzy right now. Just call me Melissa Grinch.
{SLAM}
The short of it is... I'm exhausted. It's been a long month and we honestly thought we'd be in our house by Thanksgiving. Don't get me wrong, we are in our house, but not in our house. There's a few things that have to be finished downstairs before we can move the furniture in. Have you ever renovated a house? There's tons of DUST. I've found that cleaning is basically pointless before we are done. So all that to say, we are living there but it is not home yet.
The problem is I have never been much of an adventurous person. I love my schedule. No, I thrive on my schedule. Schedules have been thrown out the window lately. All spare time means putting hardwood on cabinets, installing fixtures, scrubbing bathrooms and unpacking one room at a time . We began with the upstairs and the only complete room thus far is the boy's bathroom. Last night we started the boys room (which thrilled them and this was the first morning Eli woke up to his usual laughing and dancing rather than crying hysterically). Every day when we pull in the driveway he cries a multitude of tears, muttering,
"I want to go to the old house."
I want to cry along with him and agree. I was so pleased this morning when I heard him giggling and looked to find him running circles in his room.
"I LOVE my dinosaur room. I LOVE my dinosaur room. Mommy, come in. It's 'Good Morning' time in my room!!"
I think finally he feels like he has a space. A space that he loves. A space that is his. My longings, exactly bud.
So I know I'm totally complaining. I also know that it will all be worth it in the end. I just think when you're in it, perspective can be difficult. It's just been one of those weeks. Like when it took us a couple hours to put the boy's bed together (which was screwing in 8 bolts). Yeah... the screws did not want to match up to the bolts. Like when I drove all the way out to Bed, Bath & Beyond (way out of my way) and forgot my 20% off coupon. Like when I stopped to get gas and my key decided I was trying to steal my own car and would not function. I was stranded for 1 1/2 hours while Dusty looked for the spare key amongst the multitude of boxes in our garage. Needle in a haystack.
But when it comes down to it, no matter how bad things may seem - I still don't have it all that bad. I have it pretty great, actually. I'm getting a new house. A new baby. I am blessed. Even if I don't have my Christmas tree up and my house beautifully decorated (yet!) - even if my days are a bit longer and my sleep a little bit less - even if my boys are off their schedule for a few weeks - even if I feel like I cannot do this much longer.... there is still good news.
"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule."
Matthew 5:3
I've been saying all week that I am d.o.n.e. At the end of my rope. Can't do this any longer. Reading this this morning couldn't have come at a better time.
"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."
James 1:2-4
I'll chew on this for awhile. If you think about it, prayers that we finish everything quickly would be amazing!
{merry & bright}
{merry & bright}
Just trying to remind myself to be a little more peppy. After all, it is December 1st :) Happy Holidays everyone. Hopefully my next blog post will be before & after photos!
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