"Mommy, I love you... more than the iPad"

I laughed at myself last night as I told Dusty goodnight and threw myself down on my bed at 8:30 p.m. It didn't matter that it was Friday night - all I cared about was the fact that I was exhausted after a long week. The only thing on my mind was sleep. For the few minutes that I was awake, I thought about how college seems like ages ago and how I cannot even comprehend the thought of pulling an all-nighter. It's funny how your life changes when you get older, between having kids, work, and other responsibilities. 10:00 p.m. is late for me. Sometimes the thought of staying up late on the weekends is tempting, but then I remember that I have a persistent wake up call around 5:00 a.m. There is no pulling Eli in bed with me and trying to snuggle him back asleep. He's up and running at full speed. It's as instantaneous as turning on a light switch - believe me, I have witnessed it before. His eyes open and - BOOM - he's awake and full of energy. I get exhausted just watching him go - I'd do anything to wake up with that kind of energy. Rather, I just have to force it. And I'm not gonna lie - when his little eyes start dozing off around 9:00 a.m. sometimes I get kind of upset. I mean seriously, what nerve! Little stinker! Good thing I love him to pieces.

When my wake up call came this morning, I was glad I had chosen to turn in a bit early the night before. I picked up a few things around the house and got myself and the boys ready for my morning run. I'm not the type to take my kids out of the house in their pj's so I had to get them dressed and get them a snack to eat on the way. We often take it easy on Saturday's and let the boys play a bit afterwards, but today we ran 4 miles and headed back home. It was not our typical Saturday. Generally we do something as a family and spend most of the day together. But Dusty is leaving for New York on Monday and my mom is flying in tonight, so we both had some things we needed to get done. I needed to run some errands and pick up a few things I had forgotten at the store, while Dusty needed to finish wrapping up some loose ends for work since he'll be gone all week. We had our niece's birthday party this evening, so we pretty much went our separate ways to accomplish what we needed to beforehand. I stopped by a few stores and ended up at Target. Yes, I know this is shocking - I go every single day of my life. While in Target, I had a moment where Eli made me want to bust out laughing and Silas was tugging at my very last nerve at the same time. Eli was sitting in the front of the cart as usual and Silas was in the back. Eli had found his Iron Man toy in my purse and began playing, making all sorts of sound effects. Silas decided that he needed one too and was letting me and the whole store aware of this. Of course I didn't have another one and he was being down right ridiculous. I got down on his level and spoke firmly to him, making sure he knew his behavior was inappropriate. I always hate disciplining in public, as there aren't many options. It's not like I can put him in time out, nor can I take him in a public bathroom and spank his bottom - not in this day and age anyway. Dusty said I should have left right then. Ideally, this sounds like a great option. However, after you've spent half an hour in the store with two kids, have all your things in your cart and are already in the check out line, the last thing you want to do is take your kids and go. Shopping with kids can be trying. On some levels, it has to be planned. It's difficult to take them if they are tired, hungry or needing to get some energy out. That's why I typically have toys, snacks, my iPhone or iPod, etc. in my purse at all times and will only go at certain times. I must be ready for anything. So, as I was standing there with people probably thinking I needed to shut my kid up, suddenly Eli turned around to Silas. He proceeded to say in a firm voice, "Stop. Whining. Right. Now." First of all, I couldn't believe that came out of his mouth. Second, the way in which he said it was too much! He drew out every word, saying it as if he were growling. Keep in mind, he also had a very stern look on his face - I imagine it's similar to the look I get when I am upset. I wasn't about to start laughing hysterically like I wanted to, but believe me I had a good laugh later. After what seemed like an eternity (it's torturous when your kids are behaving like hooligans in public), we got to the car. Silas continued his whining all the way outside. When we finally got to the car I made it VERY clear that I didn't want to hear another word out of his mouth until we got home. He was in trouble and I didn't want to hear a peep from him - and believe me, he understood. Of course within two minutes he had fallen asleep. He really is a good little boy, and I chalked it up to him being tired - even though there's really no excuse.

Discipline is so hard. Before having kids, it's easy to judge. You see a kid misbehaving in public and on the inside you're thinking that parent needs some control. But now having lived it, I know it's not as easy as it may seem. I find it hard on many levels - consistency, sometimes they just don't care what you do, sometimes I feel like I'm being mean, etc - but in the end I have to know that no matter how hard it is, it's for their good. It makes them better. And at the end of the day, no matter what, there's no doubt in my mind those boys know they are loved. Silas always asks me, "Mommy, do you love me more than anything in the world?" Of course!! I was putting him to bed the other night and he said, "Mommy, I love you more than anything in the world. I love you more than my movies, I love you more than the iPad, and I love you more than Eli's new toy." My little heart breaker - I definitely laughed when I left the room. But seriously, Dusty and I make it a habit to tell them every single time they've just gotten in trouble, "Silas (or Eli), mommy and daddy love you. We love you so much, but it is not okay to act like that. You need to obey." We always end with a hug and a kiss. And with tears streaming down their faces, how could you not love them up? Even the moments I feel I'm at my wits end, they still melt my heart and make me smile.

We spent the evening at Reese's first birthday party, where the boys had a blast swimming. Silas is a little water bug and it's next to impossible to get him out once he's gone in the water. He'd spend all day in the pool if we'd let him. Eli has a newfound love of the pool as well, and had a pretty dramatic fit when it was time for me to get him out. That is, until he discovered the dessert table. I was talking to someone and Dusty told me I had to come see what Eli was doing. His face and hands were covered in icing and he was reaching his little hand up on the table, eating anything he could get his hands on. It was pretty funny actually, and he had the biggest grin on his face. We had a great time at the party, and the best part is the kids are always so worn out after all that swimming. They're both snug in their beds and come to mention it, it's getting pretty late for me too. After all, it is 9:00 p.m. so I should probably call it a night. And I'll rest easy knowing I'm loved - more than the iPad. Thanks Silas, that's a lot.