Happy Birthday, Eli

To Eli on your 2nd Birthday -

Oh boy, where do I even begin with you? It's impossible to imagine life without you in it. Though you were probably the biggest surprise of our lives, God knew exactly what He was doing! You were meant to be a part of our family, and you definitely add a whole other dimension with your amazing and lovable personality. My pregnancy with you was relatively non-eventful and easy until the very end, when I ended up with pregnancy induced cholestasis again. It's not fun. Basically, the mommy's liver stops functioning properly and bile acids build up in the bloodstream. This causes severe itching, to where I pretty much wanted to rip my skin off - not exaggerating. I had this with Silas as well, so as soon as I found out I had it again, I knew I would be induced early. The week before you were born, I was in and out of the labor and delivery triage, having my blood levels checked. At 37 weeks, we went in to be evaluated and was induced that day around 12:30 p.m. My labor with you began incredibly slow and I was stuck at 2 cm (which I was already at when I came in) for 8 hours. At 10:00 p.m. they broke my water and I went from 2 cm to 10 cm in 2 hours. I had a natural labor and it was the absolute WORST experience of my life! I actually tried to get an epidural, but it would not take - I was already at 9 1/2 cm by the time the doctor came in. After cracking lots of jokes and trying to figure out what was wrong, the anesthesiologist told me I just had to do it on my own. All of the sudden I got incredibly nauseous and wanted to sit up. Everyone started yelling at me, "No! Don't sit up. You have to push." I was completely delirious - it really was like an out of body experience. Somehow I managed after only a few minutes to push you out. I vaguely remember holding you for just a second before they took you to clean you up. Soon, you had been weighed and were bundled up. I was so exhausted and out of it from all the benodryl that had been pumped through my iv for the itching that when they finally handed you over to me, I immediately handed you off with tears streaming down my face and fell asleep. That's all I remember. I woke up a bit later and realized you weren't there, but found out you were in the nursery. As I was being wheeled off to my room, I apologized to the nurse for anything I may have said. She said, "Oh no. Don't worry, you didn't say a single word." Oh and I forgot to mention, after I had you, the epidural finally kicked in. This meant my legs were completely numb and I couldn't go see you for a few hours until I could walk. Because you were early, there was some fluid in your lungs and you had to go to the Special Care Unit, where you stayed for a week. This was such a long week and I could not wait for you to be released so we could take you home. Not to mention, Silas was absolutely dying to meet you. He was too young to go in the nursery so he had to wait an entire week after you were born to see you. The look on his face was priceless. Your brother loved you so much and always wanted to sit on the couch holding and kissing you. You were his baby. We had many difficulties in the beginning because you had problems gaining weight and the doctor wanted to put you back in the hospital. Finally, at 7 weeks, you were back to your birth weight of 8 pounds. It was crazy how tiny you got! But before we knew it, you were growing and your personality began shining through. You were all smiles from the beginning. When it was just you and me, I would sing to you "You Are My Sunshine" because you literally lit up the room with your contagious happiness. You still do. You could be the happiest kid alive and it's rare to see you without a smile on your face. Daddy and I can't help but laugh at how oblivious you are. You truly are a very smart little boy, though we sometimes call you "dummy" to which you respond in the cutest way, "Huh?" as you tilt your head and grin. It's a term of endearment. We don't mean it, but just love your joyful spirit and ability to make us laugh no matter what. You don't have a care in the world. You are so playful and love running around chasing and mimicking Silas. You adore him - watching every single thing he does, wanting to be just like him. I love watching you two interact and have your little conversations. I love how I cannot look at you without smiling. Even if you're acting up and about to drive me crazy, you get me in trouble because it's hard to look at you with a serious face and not laugh. You're just so funny - and I know you know it. You're even funny in time-out. I remember when Silas was your age, he'd be in time out absolutely devastated as if his world had ended. But you, on the other hand, sit there and make the most of it, then run off with a smile after your time's up and I've had a little chat with you. Not much phases you - you just choose to be happy. You wake in a better mood than anyone I've ever met. Pretty much the only time you're crying is when it's time for bed, because you don't want to miss anything. You are full of life.

On May 28, 2008 at 12:27 a.m. my world became an even better place. I had no idea what to expect when I was pregnant, not knowing what place you'd hold in our family. But you are the perfect piece to our little puzzle - bringing joy, energy and life that I could not have imagined. I am seriously in awe of how God works and His plan for our lives. I didn't know I needed you - I didn't even know I wanted you, but God knew you had to be a part of our family. You teach me to laugh and to not take things so seriously. You teach me adventure and that everything doesn't have to be so planned and organized. You teach me what it means to live life to the fullest, with energy and excitement. You really do challenge me - even though you're only two. We are so very different that you stretch my ways of thinking, opening my eyes to a whole new way of seeing things. Thank you for the love, joy and energy you have brought to us. I can't say your name or think about you without smiling - that's how much joy you bring to me. I love, love, love you, Eli Jackson. I am so thankful God gave me the opportunity to be your mommy, because you have blessed my life beyond measure. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know Eli, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." Happy, happy birthday to one of the two sweetest little boys in the whole wide world. I love you to the moon and back.