[stik-ers] - A lesson on Positive Re-inforcement!
stick*er
[stik-er]
-noun
1. a person or thing that sticks.
2. an adhesive label.
What can a sticker do for you? It can make miracles happen.
It has changed/is in the process of changing my kids. The following goes to show the power of positive re-inforcement. All my kids needed was a little motivation - a goal - lots of cheering, high fives and "I'm so proud of.." for them to do the "impossible". Seriously, this goes to show that we cannot force someone to do something, but if we encourage the positive and let them know they can do anything, the possibilities are endless.
Stickers potty trained Eli and got Silas sleeping in his bed all night - two feats I thought to be impossible. As promised, as soon as our sticker chart was full (this took approximately 3 weeks), we went to Disneyland. The boys were ecstatic and ever so proud of their accomplishment. The sticker chart even tagged along on our trip, so we could take a photo with it in front of the castle. The following day Silas sadly told me, "Mom. I am so sad. We forgot to show Mickey our sticker chart." Gotta love his sweetness. He was so proud.
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| In front of the castle with their completed sticker chart. |
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| Excited and being goofy in the stroller |
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| On the tram! |
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| My Eli love That brings me to Sticker Chart #2. New goals. New, big changes for my boys. One step at a time. Again, I put things on the chart such as brushing their teeth, being good listeners and being helpers. For Eli the biggie is now getting him to sleep all night in his bed. (I mentioned to Dusty this afternoon that this chart may never be filled - yes, not too optimistic this will work.) For Silas - trying new foods. And this requires a bit of a story. The short of it - Silas is the pickiest eater on the face of the planet. He doesn't like anything and that's just what he'll tell you. Well, he'd probably list chicken, broccoli, bread, maybe pizza. When we go to McDonald's, he asks for "a hamburger with no meat, cheese, pickles or ketchup. Just the bread." Nothing I have tried with the kid has worked. If you'd have suggested to me years ago that a kid refused to eat, I probably would have said, "Make him eat." Not as easy as it sounds. I can't force feed him - even if I could get something in his mouth, he'd spit it out for sure. I can make him sit in his seat until he's done or at least tries a bite of something new, but he'd sit there for hours. I can put him in time out, but he'd rather be there. I can send him to bed without food if he's not going to eat what's on his plate - that's perfectly fine with him. On Saturday I told him he had to try and eat an apple slice - a dried apple slice, actually. It took an hour and a half of crying, pouting, proclaiming "you're sooo mean.", gagging, etc. for him to finish. It's always a battle. A battle that can be oh so exhausting. Later that day, I tried an experiment. I was making a grilled cheese and thought to hide some turkey in it. I made sure it was not visible. He began to gobble it up, and I do mean gobble. When he was half way through, I opened the sandwich and proclaimed, "Silas!! I tricked you! There is turkey in your sandwich and you LIKE IT!" A side note - one of Silas' big phrases is "I tricked you, Mom!!" so I thought I'd pull a number on him. He thought for a second and said, "Hmmm, I LIKE TURKEY! I didn't even know it." Kind of another side note - I have read and heard stories of how people try to get their kids to eat food, particularly veggies and fruits. For instance, you can puree veggies and put it in pasta sauce - or, I've even heard in brownies. Silas does not like pasta sauce, nor will he eat a brownie. If he sees a speck of something in his food that in his mind is not supposed to be there, he will freak out. {Sigh} Needless to say, these tips have not been so helpful for me. Fast forward to today. I presented Silas and Eli with the NEW chart. {Cheers and Enthusiasm followed} I carefully explained the new goals and the new rewards. Silas didn't really ask any questions. He seemed to be satisfied with my explanation. Fast forward to dinner-time. Not really knowing what to make, I just grabbed some eggs, turkey and cheese and whipped up an omelet. I set it in front of him expecting crying, complaining, persuading, excuses - you get the idea. Silas did not say a single word. He proceeded to finish off his plate. No tears. No fights. No gagging. No drama. The best part of my day was the following conversation: Me - "Silas, did you like your eggs?" Silas - "Is this what eggs taste like? I thought it would be different. Hmmmm. Yes, I do like eggs." Me - "I'm so glad Si! I am so proud you tried something new and ate ALL of it." Silas - "This is really freaking me out." Me - "What is freaking you out?" Silas - "The eggs are freaking me out, Mom, because I never even tried 'em before. " Miracle of miracles. I am still in shock as I type. Complete and utter shock. Dare I believe this could actually work again? I have high, high hopes. Now, to see if Eli makes it in his bed all night... |
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| The eggs |
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| The eating of the eggs - or shall I say, the tear-less eating of the eggs. |
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| The New Chart |
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| His finished plate. No, I didn't scrape anything off! |
Oh! One more thing. I feel the need to say "Excuse my mess. Blog under construction." I'm in the process of making some changes to my blog. I've been reading about html codes all afternoon and am brain dead. I'm trying to figure out how to do everything I have in my mind to do and am done for the day. Hopefully I'll figure it all out.
2 Comments
This is one of my favorite posts you've ever made! Part of me can't wait to see Haven and Jackson at this age, and part of me can. But it definitely gives me something to look forward to! LOVE LOVE LOVE the new background! I see you chose something from shabbyblog! I thought you would like their stuff! Love you! (I had to delete my original message because I made one of my biggest pet peeve mistakes by spelling their as there... UGH! Same message, just said correctly.)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed it :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, every stage is fun. You enjoy what they're doing now, and you'll enjoy what they're doing in a year. It is fun seeing how their personalities and their interests develop and hearing what comes out of their mouths. Being a mom is just plain fun in general!!
I'm glad you like the new look! I am really happy with it!