Real Life Lessons
In the past couple weeks I have had several interactions with people that have really caused me to think about two things: our perceptions of people, as well as my own insecurities and how that relates to other people. By perceptions of people, I mean the allure of other people's lives - there is something fascinating about other people, almost glamourous. We look at celebrities and wonder what it would be like to live in their shoes. Reality tv has become incredibly popular, because there is something more fascinating about "real life" than the next tv drama. Even facebook has become that way for so many people - we are so interested in what everyone else is doing that we can't help but be drawn to it. But isn't is all really just an escape from reality - from our own life - and a sort of romanticizing of other people? Who really cares what celebrity has gained 10 pounds or if our "friend" on facebook is at McDonald's eating a Big Mac with their brother? But we do! No matter how silly it sounds, it is interesting to us and maybe we want to feel like we're all the same. Realistically, real life can be difficult and maybe not what we dreamt it would be. So, when we look at other people's lives from the outside looking in, maybe it seems better or more interesting than our own. It's fun to escape, which is why we go on vacations or to the movies, or turn on the tv when there's nothing else to do. Those things are much easier than being still or asking ourselves the hard questions. It's easier to escape than to face reality.
I have been away from Texas for 10 years now and recently went back for a visit. Someone asked me, "so how is your life, because it sure looks good on paper. Living in California, married, two kids - it seems like it's great". My response was something to the effect of yes, things are good but that doesn't mean everything's easy. Life isn't always as grand as it appears to be. I have these thoughts all the time, but this really got me thinking again about how dangerous it is to glamorize someone else's marriage, job, or life in general. This is so unhealthy because it can bring us to a place of judgment, bitterness, or just negative feelings about ourself. We will never get anywhere in life if we don't stop worrying about everyone else and live our own life. And I am saying this to myself. I let my own insecurities get in the way of a lot of things. For instance, I really love and have found a passion for photography. I have had countless people tell me that I should start my own business, but have been too insecure in my abilities to do so. It doesn't matter how many compliments I get, I am always comparing myself to the next person. I convince myself that I'm not that great and talk myself out of it. Even as I'm moving closer in that direction, I am still scared silly. But really, who cares? Why does it matter people's opinion of me or my abilities? Shouldn't I do something I love and just go for it? I can always tell myself that I am working on my portfolio or waiting until I'm just a little bit better - but will that time ever come if I don't just branch out in a step of faith? Most likely not. So, what I have decided is to go for it. If I don't succeed, at least I will have tried. And that to me, is what it's all about.
Growing up I was incredibly shy. I have definitely progressed in this area, but still find many social situations difficult. I feel like I can't express myself very well verbally. I open my mouth and I stumble over what I'm trying to say and just can't quite get it right. It's so frustrating to me because I can sit down and write without a thought - the words flow effortlessly. Not so much in conversations. Because of this, I definitely limit myself. I much prefer one on one conversations and interactions versus being around lots of people. But isn't this really just a fear or sounding stupid and being overly concerned about what people will think of me? It's definitely a barrier I want to cross. Confidence is huge. If we believe in ourself, we can do great things. And really, we all need to remember that everyone has insecurities - just in different areas that are expressed in different ways. So why do we constantly compare ourselves to everyone? I often hear people say, and have also said myself that people watching can be fun. Have you ever sat in a mall, in an airport or other crowded venue and just watched the people around you. But what are we really doing? Aren't we simply judging and comparing those people - the way the look, the way they act, the way they are presenting themselves at that particular moment? We often form opinions of people fairly quickly - that's why they say first impressions are important. But maybe it isn't always fair.
As I'm writing this, my only intent is to evaluate and even challenge my thinking on certain issues I struggle with. I too often let my insecurities get in the way of living my life. I need to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to be better. As insecure as I can be about things, in the end I know I am the one placing those burdens on myself - no one else really cares. And how silly is it to let that get in the way of me pursuing new things. I also challenge myself to live knowing that I was created by God, who loves me and gave me my gifts and abilities. Am I living my life in such a way that I am glorifying Him with what He has given me? Or am I wishing to be something different and unhappy with certain things about myself? I hope and pray that I'll look back one day and see where I have grown in these areas and have taken ownership of who He has made me. I do know the truths of His Word and know that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. What a disservice to Him to live contrary to that. This is the life I have been given - this is who I am - now, what am I going to do with it? What are you going to do with yours?
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