my week as a single mom.

March 30, 2014

I was a single mom this week. Dusty chaperoned a group of students from his school on a mission trip to Los Angeles. They worked with a ministry called the Dream Center and from everything he told me about his trip, it sounds like a great ministry that is meeting so many needs of the people in their city. All in all, he had an amazing experience and it was an awesome way to spend his Spring Break. I'm thankful he got the experience and was able to help serve there.

We, on the other hand, were not on Spring Break. It's the first time our breaks have not aligned, so it was definitely different. Typically, if Dusty were to be gone, either my parents would come out for a visit or I would visit Texas. But, it just didn't make sense to do either of these things since we were not out of school and have a two week break coming up. So, we stuck it out alone!

Dusty asked me how things were by myself. I noted, "some thing were easier and some things were more difficult." To explain. I am physically capable of taking care of the boys by myself, including all the day to day tasks, errands, and million and one things that have to be done each day. Dusty being gone doesn't make that more challenging. In a sense, it's actually an easier load with him being gone because that's one less being to cook for, do laundry for, make lunches for, etc. Btw, I do not mean that rudely by any means, it's just the facts. But - and here's the kicker - doing things these emotionally "alone" is what is so exhausting. Jeremiah did not understand. We could barely FaceTime, because he would get so upset, for so long afterwards, that it wasn't worth it. He would ~~cry~~ scream, "Daddy, daddy, daddy" for half an hour or more once he got off the phone. Silas and Eli understood where Dad was and why he was doing what he was doing, but they still missed him. The countdown started on the way to school, the morning he left. I asked Silas his low on the way home that day and he said, "my low is I miss dad". It was kind of funny because he wouldn't have even seen him at that point in the day yet, but he dreaded him being gone. Trying to just help them deal with their little feelings took a toll. Distracting can be exhausting. Also, I didn't have any time to unwind - at all. It makes you realize how important even 10 minutes can be. You know, in the evenings where the boys are all huddled up with daddy playing video games. Even if I'm doing dishes, at least I'm doing it without, "Mommy, mommy, mommy" and can have a few free moments to think. There was no unwinding by talking about my day at the end of it - because there was no one to ask. In the end, it was a good thing because it helps put things into perspective. It helps you to see the things you appreciate and the things you take for granted. Right now, I feel spent and not ready to start another new week - but I must. It gives me greater appreciation for all the single parents out there and I am thankful to be part of a team. I know I would get exhausted fast if I had to go it alone.

In any case, here's some photos from our week, solo.

Trying to FaceTime daddy.

Annnd, the aftermath.

My night-time snuggle buddies.

I made sure to get my afternoon runs in because it was even more needed!

If I were cooking for myself all the time, this would be my plate every night - loaded with roasted veggies.

Oh, ya know - little men.

Jeremiah stole Silas' ipad and headphones.

I love the side view with the belly!

I think I ended up at the bottom of the bed!

We escaped to SeaWorld on Friday afternoon and Saturday.

The would have stayed at the entrance all day if I let them. There's a new part where you can touch different little creatures and they were obsessed with the cleaner fish. Yeah, they literally eat the dead skin cells off you. Gross. But they loved it!