[muhth-er] - Happy Mother's Day.
moth-er
[muhth-er]
–noun
1. a female parent.
Somehow, I'm not sure that cuts it. I've been thinking about this post the past couple of days. There's a million things I could say about my mom -- but I don't think it was until I, myself, became a mother that I fully grasped the extent of a mother's love.
It's easy to look at a newborn baby and "oooh" and "ahhh" over it, suddenly having a surge of hormones and then an incredible desire to have one. After all, there is something so miraculous about a newborn baby. It's so innocent. So perfect. It's truly love at first sight.
Before your very eyes, that newborn begins to grow. Along with that comes thousands of diapers, spit up, mountains of dirty laundry and eventually temper tantrums, "NO's", and "I don't want too's". You quickly realize that being a mother isn't for the faint of heart. It's a huge responsibility, not to be taken lightly. Don't get me wrong -- being a mom is one of my greatest joys and the best job in the whole. wide. world. But, it's also one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's so much more than feeding, dressing and providing for. Mothering requires unending amounts of patience, love to the fullest extent, disciplining even when it's hard, instilling values and morals into tiny selfish creatures, etc. Top that off with the fact that I am definitely not perfect. Now, not only am I required to raise two little boys - but do that in the midst of all my weaknesses. And believe me, I have many and I have made mistakes. I think that in being a mother, I have more fears than I ever had. Fears of losing my temper, fears of making the wrong decisions, fears of not being good enough to do it, fears that I'm gonna somehow screw my kids up, etc. I know that I have all the love in the world for my two boys and I tell them every chance I get. Still, I only pray that I do my best and that they will grow up to be men that love God and desire to honor Him with their lives. I'm really not sure I could parent without my faith - otherwise, I probably wouldn't be cut out for it. Not only that, but it is the clearest representation of God's unconditional love for me. Now, I get it. I know the love I have for my boys and also know that that love cannot even begin to compare to the love He has for me. It's unfathomable.
Sometimes I love those boys so much it hurts. And if you're a mom, you know just what I mean. When they hurt, you hurt. There have been times already, even at their young ages - that I have ached for them. I hate to admit it, but I worry about them constantly. I watch them on the playgrounds and hope they have friends. I think about their futures and want them to have the best. That's the thing - you do want the best for your kids. I have no desire for them to be the most popular boys in school or have the most successful career making the most money, but I do want to give them the world. And that, is part of parenting. Sometimes what you want to give them may not be the best. Even if I want to get them a toy every single time we go to the store because it would make them so happy -- that's not best. And that's not teaching them the best. So, as a mom - I have to filter what is in their best interest and teach them, even when it isn't what they want to hear. And pray. In some ways, I have to give it all up - the worry, the fears, the struggles - and simply do the things I know God would have me do, trusting completely in Him.
All that being said, I could go on and on. But my main point in all of this is --- I get it. I get it so much, my love has quadrupled. So...
Thank you, Mom. Thank you for the millions of diapers, for being spit up, pooped and peed on, for the sleepless nights, for enduring the terrible two's, for disciplining me even when it hurt you to do it. Thank you for sacrificing "things" so you could be a stay at home mom. Thanks for not losing it even when we were being complete brats. Thank you for comforting me when I was scared, listening when I needed someone to talk to, and for coming to eat lunch with me on my lunch breaks at work when I called and asked you to. Thank you for taking me to church and instilling morals and truth in me. Thanks for putting up with the teenage years. Thanks for setting aside your own fears, to let me do the things that are a part of growing up -- like driving! Thank you for supporting me and sending me all the way off to Chicago even when I know it was the last thing you ever wanted to do. Thanks for letting me go. Thanks for being not just my mom, but my friend. Thanks for still listening even when I'm being emotional or crazy. Thanks for loving me in spite of my weaknesses -- there is no way I could ever doubt your love. Thanks for showing me how to be a good mom and thanks for being an amazing Mamaw. They say grandkids are the reward for parenting, and I think you have 4 of the best out there. So, for that - you're welcome. But thank you, for everything else :)
I love you, Mom. Happy Mother's Day. Thanks for being so much more than just "a female parent."
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