"Cheeeeese!!" -- a Photo session of me!

May 14, 2011

Maybe I'm wrong, but I think everyone has insecurities. I certainly do. Let's just say, and I'm sure most people that know me would agree, that I've never been the most confident person. I believe I've grown in a lot of areas over the years, but there's always room for improvement. Growing up I was really shy. I'm not so much now, but am still pretty uncomfortable with people I don't know well. I'm not the person that would enjoy going to a big party, being the center of attention in a room. Yeah, I'd be the little wall flower. Really, I don't like to have attention on me at all.

I'm not saying any of this to beat myself up - just being honest. Dusty and I were out today without the boys and he took some photos of me. He hates doing this. Just ask him. Not because he doesn't enjoy taking photos or spending time with me, but because I am super critical of myself. I'm long and gawky, my nose is not the cutest (thanks a lot, Jay, for flinging that seatbelt at my nose) and I don't quite know what to do with my hands, how to stand, etc. I prefer to be behind the camera.

I do like taking pictures with the boys because I obviously want to document our lives - however, I have a hard time finding photos I like of myself. But again, I think most people are probably like this. We look at photos of ourselves and see everything that's wrong. We look at photos of other people and think they're beautiful. I'm pretty sure people don't look at pictures of me and think "oh, that hair is out of place" or "gosh, her nose is hideous". Lol, well - at least I hope not!!

This was also a valuable lesson because it also gives me a better perspective of what it's like being in front of the camera. It's definitely awkward. But, the job of the photographer is to make it as painless as possible. You have to interact with the subject, making them relaxed and comfortable. You have to bring out their personality. You have to capture them, without the photos seeming too forced or too posed. It's challenging, for sure.

So today, I couldn't hide behind the camera. I had to follow directions and smile - and even endure a few people walking by. But, I did it. This experience was helpful to say the least, because I'm always looking for ways in which I can be better as a photographer. And without further ado, I'll even post some of them... Oh, and thanks Dust, for putting up with me and for getting some shots I actually like. Success.