School Days, School Days...

Life is funny thing, or maybe it'd be more accurate to say our perspective is. When we're young, we think we're mature, but are looking at the world through such a narrow lens. We have no perspective. We are naive. With age, we grow in understanding, wisdom and through life experiences. I distinctly remember a scenario exactly 5 years ago that I didn't comprehend, yet was my reality today.

Dusty and I had just moved from Chicago to San Diego after graduating in May. Right away, I began working at Bonita Road - but it was the summer so there weren't many students around. The only kids on campus were those in Summer Day Camp and about 1/2 of the usual Preschool students. Finally, the summer passed and it was time for school to begin. On the first day of Preschool, there were a million parents with their cameras, video cameras and there was certainly no shortage of tears. I remember almost laughing - thinking, it's Preschool. It's not their first day of real school, what is all the fuss about? I had no basis for even having those thoughts, as I had no comprehension of the momentous occasion that it was. I was not a parent - I was barely 3 months pregnant. I simply didn't get it.

Fast forward to today. Today was Eli's first official day of Preschool. My baby was starting school and I was not ready! It all happened so fast. Now, I get it. I literally feel like I had Silas yesterday, and now, he is 4 1/2 and Eli is 2. Where does the time go? How is it possible for it to slip through my fingertips so quickly? It's not that growing up isn't a wonderful thing. I fall more in love with my boys every day, as their personalities continue to flourish and as our relationships continually build. It's truly an amazing gift and I just want to cherish every second of it. With all that said, I couldn't help but laugh at myself on this day, for the naive perspective I had 5 years ago.

So last night, I began prepping Eli for his first day of school. He knows Silas goes to school and we send him on his way everyday, but Eli has never wanted to go. Occasionally I'll ask him, "Eli, do you want to go to school with Silas?" and he'll respond quickly, "No, momma. Office. Bye Bye, Silas." So I kept telling him, "Eli!! Tomorrow you will go to school! You are such a BIG boy! You are going to be a bunny and it will be SO. MUCH. FUN!" For the first time, he acted half way excited. "School. Bunny. Class. Fun."

This morning, I packed their lunches and got them both ready for school. This was also another momentous occasion in the fact that I made their lunches. Silas has always gotten the Hot Lunch from school since it's convenient and saves me time in the mornings. However, he's such a picky eater that I finally decided I'd be better off to go ahead and make a lunch, plus I thought the lunch box would get Eli a little excited. He loves food, so it was some motivation for him to get a cool lunch box - an Iron Man lunch box.

So, we were ready to go and loaded up in the car. On the way, I heard the following:

Silas - "Eli, you will NOT be crying at MY school. I do not like crying, and it's a BIG BOY class."

Eli - "Big boy class."

We got to school and Silas was so sweet. He told Eli that everything would be okay and helped him carry his stuff. We got to the office and Silas helped Eli put his name tag on and put his sharing in the right box. I excitedly proclaimed to Eli that he was such a big boy and was going to school. Eli said, "School! Bunny! Class! Bye bye, Mommy!!" Then, he waved at me. I thought to myself, "Boy, that was easy!" I stood up, walked to the door and as I opened it, Eli threw himself down on the floor and began crying hysterically. He had himself all amped up to go and then suddenly got scared and backed out. I had no choice but to carry him in and leave as quickly as possible. Delaying the inevitable wouldn't help a thing.

I anxiously counted down the hours until I could pick him up. I wondered all day how he was doing. I was too afraid to walk over there to try and sneak a peak, in fear that he'd see me and get upset.

12:00 p.m. finally came and I walked over to get my sweet baby boy. He saw me, smiled ear to ear and ran over to me with his arms up. He was so proud. And you better believe I was too! I asked all the teachers how he did and was told he did well once he settled in, but would get upset during any transition. The teachers felt like he had a good first day and will obviously adjust once he understands exactly what's going on. Before he left, he hugged most of his teachers, waved and shouted, "Byyyyyeee!!" in the sweetest little voice ever.

He did it. I did it. Whew! At least the first day is behind us and we can move forward from here. Not that tomorrow will be magically different, but I know it will only get easier as we both adjust to the idea. And the good news is, I have a whole year before I have to deal with the fact that Silas will start Kindergarten! Woah - I better take it as it comes, because that's a crazy thought! And you better believe, I'm that parent with the camera, video camera and flood of tears - and not one bit ashamed!