Faith in Every Circumstance

It's amazing how your circumstances can take a dramatic turn in an instant. The past few days have been a whirlwind of thoughts, emotions and reflection. Friday evening, after an incredibly long day of traveling home from our 10 day vacation, Dusty received a phone call from his boss. Basically, the enrollment for the school he works at is much lower than previous years and his boss needed to speak with him about some cut backs they were having to make in order to adjust to this lower number of students. After looking at the numbers and the books, there were 4 employees that they were having to make some adjustments with, with Dusty being one of them. This is understandable considering he teaches video courses, which is an elective and not a required course for students to take. It's not like you can cut back Math or Bible, right? I 100% believe that his boss did everything within his power to figure out the numbers and work with Dusty because he really values him, but just ran out of options. Books are books - numbers are numbers - if the money isn't there, it isn't there. On paper, a certain amount of salaries had to be reduced. Unfortunately, this doesn't put us in a very good spot. So what it looks like now is this: we will still receive our benefits (actually the same amount of money we already pay with the option to buy back into the same plan we're on) but his salary is cut in half. Yes, half. He will only have to work from 7:30 - 11:00 a.m. each day. From what we understand, this will go into effect once his contract begins in a few weeks. Yikes! In the next couples weeks, we have to figure something else out to supplement the salary we are losing.

So let me run you through my thought processes the past several days:

Friday - Complete and utter shock. Full belief that this was going to be fine and wasn't really going to happen. Between Friday and Monday, something was going to change and maybe this was all a dream.

Saturday - Too busy unpacking and cleaning to really think about the situation or it's implications. It's okay.

Sunday - Meltdown. A sudden splurge of anger and bitterness. Frustrated. Confused. Why this, why us? A flood of tears.

Monday - Calm. Letting this reality soak in and wondering about the possibilities. What is God up to? There has to be a purpose -there has to be a divine plan. Maybe God is turning us in a different direction that we wouldn't have taken without these particular circumstances. This really will be okay. I feel at peace, yet still lots of unknowns. I know it will work out somehow, just wondering what the next few steps are.

Just as it's amazing how quickly our circumstances can change, it's more amazing how God can use any situation for our good and give us peace in the storm. It's amazing how everything truly comes into perspective. You go about living your life, going to work, making plans, having wants and desires, etc. and then - bam! - change. Suddenly you're veered in a completely different directions - maybe for the better, maybe for what seems like the worst. Maybe it wouldn't be what you would have chosen, but maybe it's for your good. We don't see the complete picture - only our current circumstances. That's where the trust and the faith come in. Are we allowing God to steer and direct our lives, or are we feebly attempting to do it ourselves? I can tell you right now that I haven't a clue what tomorrow looks like, but I do have assurance that there's a greater plan than I can even imagine. I believe this. I have confidence in this. In moments of weakness I cringe on the inside thinking, "Wait! What about our bills? What about our needs? How will this work?" And then I breathe and know this is a season. God will provide.

Today I came across something I had written a couple months ago and I found it to be completely relevant.

"Blessed be God— he heard me praying. He proved he's on my side; I've thrown my lot in with him. Now I'm jumping for joy, and shouting and singing my thanks to him". Psalm 28:7

David penned this Psalm and it’s distinctly divided into two halves - the first is from a period of distress, the second from an attitude of thanksgiving. In this verse, it is not known whether he was currently in distress and thanking God in advance for His deliverance or if he had already triumphed and was recording his previous afflictions after his prayers had been answered. Either way, we see the remarkable faith and trust that David placed in his God. This is his declaration of who God is and the great mercy He has shown towards him. God is his strength, his shield, his helper - and he is thankful. We see a good indication of where our hearts are by our prayers to God. We should recognize God for who He is and the grace He has lavished upon us so undeservingly, in all circumstances. Whether walking through the valley or on a mountaintop, our praises should always be the same, our thankfulness should always be the same. How powerful is this? No matter our circumstances, our God is always the same - His provisions are always the same - our faith should always be firm. “The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" Lamentations 3:22-24. Really, what more is there to say?

So in light of the past few days, I pray that I will trust in God no matter what. I pray this will only make my faith stronger. I pray that God continues to bring all things into perspective. I am so blessed. I have an amazing family, two beautiful and healthy little boys, everything I need and lots of things I want. God has provided and will continue to do so.

On a lighter note, more fun information and tidbits about our life:

We replaced all the light bulbs in our house with new ones that save 75% more energy. And the light is beautiful! It was so beautiful that I had to snap a few photos of the boys just to see the difference in the lighting. No windows were open and I didn't use a flash. I was pretty amazed at how well lit the rooms were. Yay! I don't think I'll ever go back to what I was using.

AND, by the way - how could I ever get down when I have these two wonderful, beautiful little blessings?! They make my world a better place! I am so thankful for these precious gifts!!

Today, while in my all time favorite store - you know it, Target - I was browsing the new and wonderful grocery section and came across Naan, a type of flat bread. It looked tasty so I got creative for dinner. First, I seasoned and baked some chicken, cut it and set aside. Then, I minced some garlic, chopped tomatoes, onion, green bell pepper, mushrooms and black olives. I lightly drizzled the veggies in olive oil and sprinkled them with oregano. Then, I lightly drizzled the naan with olive oil and layered it with the chicken, veggies and a bit of mozzarella cheese. I baked in in the oven at 400 for about 12 minutes and voila! - I had this tasty concoction! Yummy! Dusty loved it.

While we were on vacation, Silas climbed in the back of our stroller, causing it to fall on top of him. Since the back seat sits under the top seat, you can't climb into the back without someone in the front or the weight will cause it to fall. This is the only remotely negative thing I can say about my stroller (it's the best stroller in existence) and really is never an issue because I always put a kid in the front first. We were at Disneyworld waiting for our dinner reservation. Silas was tired and wandered a couple feet away to climb into the parked stroller. So when he fell, it crushed his middle finger. He cried for awhile and it bled a little but he was okay. Over the course of the trip, Eli accidentally stepped on the same finger - twice! Today I noticed that the nail is completely white and separating from his finger, so it looks like it'll fall off. I immediately thought to put a bandaid on it because Silas will freak out! However, the kid hates bandaids. I had to explain to him that the nail was coming off so I needed to put one on his finger. He suddenly said, "Get a bandaid, get a bandaid NOW, mommy!!" I was curious why he was so intent on getting one when I know he hates them, so I asked him why. He said, "Mommy, I need a bandaid because I don't want my finger to fall off!" Ha - oh the sweet innocence of a child. Don't worry, I quickly assured him his finger was not falling off. He finally got it.