to my boys, on Mother's Day...
To my boys on Mother's Day,
The gift that I have on this day, is you. I always wanted to be a mother, but really had no way of understanding how much it could change my world... my heart. I didn't know it was possible to love, to hurt, to care, to feel, to experience anything on this level.
I am so not perfect. In fact, I screw it all up everyday. I like the house clean. My expectations can be high and sometimes I forget you are ten, seven, and three. Mornings often feel rushed getting out the door. The day to day tasks sometimes exasperate me. My weaknesses ... my flaws ... they come out. And you see them.
But there is so much more than that. There is grace, there is hope, there is unfathomable love. I couldn't even count if I tried how many times "I love you" is said in our home on a daily basis. From me to you, from you to me {and dad, of course!}
We have experienced life together. I have been there for your first smile, your first word, your first step. When you wanted to walk but couldn't yet do it on your own, we held hands. When you were ready to run, I let go. And most likely shed a tear... or two. When you went to your first day of preschool, I took a thousand pictures and waited ever so impatiently until I could pick you up and hold you again. After school we would go for runs, feed ducks, and go on squirrel hunts. I've watched you sing on stage and give it your all. I've watched you learn your alphabet and then learn to read. I've seen you grow your teeth, only to all too soon lose those same teeth that were once mile markers of your journey {JJ, your time will come before I can turn around}. I have given you more haircuts than neither you nor I want to count, because let's be honest - we all hate hair cut days! We have had lots of snuggles, Eli sandwiches, mugga mugga's, eskimo kisses, hugs, and "I love you more than anything's". We have been to Disneyland more times than we could begin to count, flown on airplanes, taken road trips, gone to the beach, worked in our yard, cooked together, gone to the drive-in. We have movie nights and family days. I have watched you play basketball and I've seen you struggle, but continue to fight. I've seen your heart's broken and tears streaming down your faces. I have read the Bible with you and prayed through things with you that are on your heart. We talk. I love our conversations in the car, at night during our devotions, when we get one-on-one time. I love going on field trips with you and eating lunch with you at school sometimes, or just being able to walk into your classroom to say "hi" at any given moment. I love how much you enjoy your birthdays, because as your mom, it's an honor to celebrate you. I am so thankful for the birthdays. I am thankful for the seconds, the minutes, the years, and all the moments in between. It's a love/hate thing. I hate how quickly the time goes, but I couldn't go back if I were given the opportunity. I wouldn't miss out on the now. The you. The yous that you are becoming... and so amazingly at that. You are not just my sons, but you are my friends. My best friends. People may think that sounds crazy, but dad would say the same thing. We are family, we are friends.
My favorite thing has been watching your relationship's with God flourish and grow. You are all in different places because you're different ages and have had different journeys. The most important part of my role as your mom and on this journey we are taking together is leading you to Him. I pray that through it all, no matter what, we always end with our eyes UP. HE is the beginning and the end, and is our beginning and end. I prayed for each of you, pray for each of you now, and will forever pray for your hearts, your journeys. I am only thankful that I was chosen to be a part of it.
You are my gifts, my treasures. I love you all to the moon and back, forever and always, no matter what.
Love, Mom
Thank you God, for these three amazing gifts.
The gift that I have on this day, is you. I always wanted to be a mother, but really had no way of understanding how much it could change my world... my heart. I didn't know it was possible to love, to hurt, to care, to feel, to experience anything on this level.
I am so not perfect. In fact, I screw it all up everyday. I like the house clean. My expectations can be high and sometimes I forget you are ten, seven, and three. Mornings often feel rushed getting out the door. The day to day tasks sometimes exasperate me. My weaknesses ... my flaws ... they come out. And you see them.
But there is so much more than that. There is grace, there is hope, there is unfathomable love. I couldn't even count if I tried how many times "I love you" is said in our home on a daily basis. From me to you, from you to me {and dad, of course!}
We have experienced life together. I have been there for your first smile, your first word, your first step. When you wanted to walk but couldn't yet do it on your own, we held hands. When you were ready to run, I let go. And most likely shed a tear... or two. When you went to your first day of preschool, I took a thousand pictures and waited ever so impatiently until I could pick you up and hold you again. After school we would go for runs, feed ducks, and go on squirrel hunts. I've watched you sing on stage and give it your all. I've watched you learn your alphabet and then learn to read. I've seen you grow your teeth, only to all too soon lose those same teeth that were once mile markers of your journey {JJ, your time will come before I can turn around}. I have given you more haircuts than neither you nor I want to count, because let's be honest - we all hate hair cut days! We have had lots of snuggles, Eli sandwiches, mugga mugga's, eskimo kisses, hugs, and "I love you more than anything's". We have been to Disneyland more times than we could begin to count, flown on airplanes, taken road trips, gone to the beach, worked in our yard, cooked together, gone to the drive-in. We have movie nights and family days. I have watched you play basketball and I've seen you struggle, but continue to fight. I've seen your heart's broken and tears streaming down your faces. I have read the Bible with you and prayed through things with you that are on your heart. We talk. I love our conversations in the car, at night during our devotions, when we get one-on-one time. I love going on field trips with you and eating lunch with you at school sometimes, or just being able to walk into your classroom to say "hi" at any given moment. I love how much you enjoy your birthdays, because as your mom, it's an honor to celebrate you. I am so thankful for the birthdays. I am thankful for the seconds, the minutes, the years, and all the moments in between. It's a love/hate thing. I hate how quickly the time goes, but I couldn't go back if I were given the opportunity. I wouldn't miss out on the now. The you. The yous that you are becoming... and so amazingly at that. You are not just my sons, but you are my friends. My best friends. People may think that sounds crazy, but dad would say the same thing. We are family, we are friends.
My favorite thing has been watching your relationship's with God flourish and grow. You are all in different places because you're different ages and have had different journeys. The most important part of my role as your mom and on this journey we are taking together is leading you to Him. I pray that through it all, no matter what, we always end with our eyes UP. HE is the beginning and the end, and is our beginning and end. I prayed for each of you, pray for each of you now, and will forever pray for your hearts, your journeys. I am only thankful that I was chosen to be a part of it.
You are my gifts, my treasures. I love you all to the moon and back, forever and always, no matter what.
Love, Mom
Thank you God, for these three amazing gifts.
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| my smart, witty, handsome Silas. |
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| My lovable, huggable, huge-hearted, handsome Eli. |
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| My passionate, hilarious, sweet, fire-cracker JJ. |
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