Sleep or lack thereof, and Random Thoughts
It's 4:30 a.m. and for no apparent reason I cannot sleep, so after a couple of restless hours, I finally decided to get up. This is quite disappointing because for the past week or so I have been sleeping like a rock - probably the best sleep I've have since having kids. I never could have imagined how little sleep I would get once I had a baby. Silas started out a horrible sleeper and I found myself constantly exhausted. He was such a light sleeper and would wake at anything. It was next to impossible to get him down for a nap without driving him around or taking a walk with the stroller. How ridiculous is this - once he was in his big boy carseat, if he fell asleep, I'd unstrap it and carry the whole thing in just to keep him asleep. Yes, first time mom type thing to do. But I would do anything for a break at that point. He finally became more of a sound sleeper around the time Eli was about to be born.
Eli arrived and we all know how little sleep you get with newborns. Well, not two weeks into it, Silas began having night terrors. This completely freaked us out because I had no idea what it was or why it was happening. He would wake suddenly with a shrill scream, all hot and sweaty and going berserk. He would thrash around uncontrollably and scream for up to half an hour. Then, as quick as it began, it would suddenly end with him falling immediately back asleep (although, they are not technically awake). As much as we could, we adjusted to these frequent night terrors. At that point I really got him on a good schedule, trying to keep things really consistent because any form of stress, being over-tired, change of schedule, etc. can cause them to occur. Apparently little Eli rocked his whole world!
Eli, also has never been a great sleeper. I am hoping he will eventually come around, as Silas has. Now I can barely get the kid to wake up in the mornings and he'll sleep as long as I let him! Hurray for that! So with Silas at four and Eli nearing two, most nights I end up with at least one of them in my bed before the night's up. I am optimistic that one day, I will survive on a full night's sleep every night. That would be a dream!
Anyhow, all that to say, my wonderful sleep the past week has been out of the ordinary and amazing. So last night was disappointing. But, I do have a lot on my mind thinking about all the things I need to get done. I'm the type of person that has a really hard time stopping in the middle of something - I can't rest until I'm done. I did a photo shoot yesterday of several girls for a website. I got home around 3:00 p.m. and began editing. Typically I can edit, export, load to facebook, create a new blogpost, etc. in a number of hours. This was not the case with this set of photos! I was editing on a different laptop and it was sooo slow. At points I wanted to throw it. I went to bed at 11:00 p.m., waiting on the photos to export (which typically doesn't take long) and when I checked the laptop this morning they still weren't finished. I'm trying to control my frustration at this point.
I'm also getting ready to leave for Texas in two days, so I'm thinking of everything I have to get done before then. I really need to learn how to sit still. When I have a list of things to do, I can literally feel the stress building. I don't know where this came from because I was not always this way. Even when I consciously tell myself to relax and it'll all get done, I still find that difficult. I'm trying to work on this! Maybe these silly pictures are just a nice test of my patience.
A few interesting and random things on my mind:
1. Our neighbors moved. For some odd reason, this kind of made me sad. When we bought our condo, we were the first of a handful of buyers of the new condo conversion. We were in on the first phase and moved in at the same time. Keep in mind, I don't know these people and have said hi and bye randomly in the past 5 years. But for some reason I saw them moving their things out and got sad. Weird, I know. We also discovered where our internet connection went. Needless to say, we called up ATT and now have our own internet. Don't judge. It was a strong signal. We used to have a bundle but when we got rid of cable our internet was gone as well. And their connection was just so strong...
2. Part of the reason I got out of bed was because I was starving for some reason. I used to buy Life cereal all the time but haven't for a couple years. I picked up a box on sale a couple weeks back. This morning I was rummaging through the cabinets (at 4:30 a.m.) looking for something and found it. Let's just say my love for Cinnamon Life cereal has been renewed. Why did I stop buying it?
3. Funny story. I was changing Eli's diaper yesterday. Silas walked in and glanced over at me. He immediately walked over and stated, "Eeeew!!! E! That is disgusting, isn't it mom? E, you are never ever ever to go potty in your diaper again!!" I died laughing. And yes, this is true - it is totally disgusting and demonstrates the true love we have for our kids that we lovingly do these gross things for our kids without a thought.
4. How do you charge people money for something? I am to the point where I really don't want to do any more photo shoots for free - I want to actually start working. Granted, doing all this free work has helped me learn and grow in my skill. I still feel like I am learning and improving. I'm not even saying that I think I am so wonderful and great - I hope I never stop learning. If I ever get to the point where I feel I have mastered it and stop trying new things - then maybe I will have lost my passion or potential for growth. But, I don't know how to ask people for money. Any suggestions?
5. I LOVE to run. It has become something I genuinely look forward to everyday. I can turn off my mind and just go. Granted, sometimes I have to hand a juice to one of the kids or answer some silly question that is reeling in Si's mind that he needs the answer to, but it is so relaxing. Yes, running and relaxing can go in the same sentence. I recently convinced Mel to join me and am loving having a buddy to go with on occasion. I'm not sure she's loving me yet, because I am pushing her - but she will, eventually :) Thanks for being a good sport Mel, you know I love you!
6. My photos are still not finished exporting... someone pray for this laptop. Here's a few that have decided to export. More to come.
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