To My Sweet Birthday Boy

This week is Silas’ birthday week and we have lots of fun little things in store. Yesterday we went and picked out Batman napkins, icing and sprinkles to make special cupcakes to celebrate his birthday at school. Silas is so into helping with everything lately, so I thought it would be fun for him to help make them, rather than me going out and buying some at the store. So tomorrow afternoon after school, I told him we would come home and make them together. Thursday we will celebrate with his friends at school, Friday (his actual birthday) Mamaw and Papaw are flying in, and Saturday we are having his Batman birthday party that he’s been planning for months. It’s so sweet how excited he is about his birthday, and everyday asks me, “mommy, is it trying to be my birthday today? I am trying to be four.” He keeps telling me how big he is getting and how he is growing up. It’s beyond crazy to me that he will be four.

The day he was born is so vivid in my mind as if it were yesterday, yet seems so long ago because I cannot comprehend my life without him. Who would tell me everyday, “Mommy, I love you so much.” Who would randomly say, “Mommy, you are such a sweet, pretty girl.” Who would constantly tell me silly things such as - “Mommy, you are a mad agent! You are kind of weird. You are soo crazy, you silly mommy!”. Who would thank me for everything - “Mommy, thank you for cleaning our house. Thank you for making me chicken. Thank you for taking me to the store to get strawberry bosco.” The list is endless. Who would, without fail, make me laugh - sometimes to the point of crying, every single day? Where would all my smiles come from? Who would come snuggle up on the couch with me and say, “Mommy, will you hold me?”. Who would narrate my daily drives to work, pointing out every single bridge, truck, airplane, police car, etc. My world forever changed the moment he entered the world, and I am a better person for it.

To Silas on your fourth birthday -

Little boy, you are a joy! You have one of the softest hearts I have ever seen and you constantly melt mine with your sweetness. You have such a way about you, you’re impossible not to love. Watching you grow has been an amazing thing - experiencing all your “firsts”, seeing you discover new things and as you get older watching you piece things together, watching you go from being super clingy to me to now interacting with everyone, with everyone being your friend (even random kids at the playground). There were times I loved how you needed me, but it has brought joy to my heart to see you grow to love people and be a friend to all. You are an amazing big brother and I love how much you care for Eli and even stand up for him. I love how concerned you get if you think something is wrong and how you want to help. You are so incredibly smart, often your cleverness amazes me. Sometimes you seem much bigger than your four years. It’s such a hard balance, because parts of me are sad that you are growing up so quickly before my very eyes, but I also love, love, love the Silas that you are right now. I look at you and feel so blessed to call you my son. You are one of the most precious gifts that I have ever received and I could never put into words what you mean to me. I am thankful for YOU and love every ounce of you. I cannot wait to continue watching you grow up to be a big boy, and eventually a man. I know God has amazing things in store for your life and I am so excited that I get to be a part of and witness it. I cherish every moment with you and often try to bottle them up, so I’ll never forget the you I know right now. Thanks for being such a sweet, loveable, a-mazing little boy. I love you “to infinity and be-a-wond!!!”

Mommy