the story of eva louise, {part three}
{continued}
see posts one and two here:
part one
part two
I told Dusty, "that man is NOT delivering this baby."
By 9:45 p.m. - within thirty minutes of receiving the medication from Dr. Rude - my contractions were already three minutes apart. I am thinking - YES! This is gonna go fast.
I was optimistic throughout my entire pregnancy that this would be my fastest and easiest labor yet. My labors with all three boys were twelve hours start to finish. Keep in mind that having to be induced, my body was no where near ready for labor. So from beginning pitocin to delivery of a baby, that's not so bad.
With Eva, things had already been progressing. With it being my 4th pregnancy, I had been having a ton of contractions, she was already super low, and at my appointment before I went in for my induction, I had already dilated a tiny bit. Not much, but it was at least something. We also knew that she would be small based on the ultrasound I had had two weeks prior. So all that being said, I just knew this was going to be a breeze.
Umm, no. Try longest and most painful labor yet.
I had told the nurse from the get go that I did not want an epidural and to please not ask me or pressure me to get one. I had a nurse do this while in labor with Silas and I finally just caved at the very end. It did not work. Again, with Eli, the same happened. I felt every single bit of it and the epidural didn't kick in until after he was already out. Eli had to be taken immediately to the NICU and because I had so much medication pumped into me and couldn't walk, it was about 6 hours until I could even see him. I never wanted this to happen again. With Jeremiah, I finally learned my lesson and just did it! It was by far my best experience after labor. I hate feeling drugged and unable to feel the lower half of my body. It's just unnerving. Knowing that Eva was a 36 weeker, I wanted to be able to be up and about just in case. I was determined to go all natural again. My nurse could not have been more supportive of this and was so amazing from start to finish.
The contractions were intense from the get go. Determined to get baby girl out, I wanted to be up as much as possible instead of laying in the bed. I sat on the birthing ball for awhile and then tried standing. Granted at this point, I was super tired {remember, I had not slept the night before}. I was also famished. All I had eaten that day was an english muffin. {okay, another side tangent. The heartburn this pregnancy was unreal. On top of the nausea and very little appetite anyway, when I did eat, I had the worst heartburn ever. I mean, grapes gave me heartburn. There was no relief, no matter how many tums I inhaled. So, after eating said english muffin and my insides began burning all the way up to my throat, I knew I didn't want to be in labor dying from heartburn}. So of course, I was beginning to feel really weak. All they could offer me was clear liquids and jello. So, I asked for some apple juice and jello and inhaled it between contractions to try to get some energy. And I must've been STARVING because that was the best jello I have ever had in my life. I wanted to ask her to just bring me twenty of them.
I got to the point where I needed to get back in bed. I was shivering, shaking, and tears were streaming down my face. {Breathe, focus, breathe.} The contractions were getting more and more intense and closer and closer together. During labor - and this is true for all of my labors - I literally cannot speak. I remember after I had Eli I apologized to the nurse thinking it had been crazy or something. She said, "sweetie, you didn't say a word." It's true. Dusty will try to talk to me and it's like I physically cannot speak. It's all I can do to shake my head up and down. So my nurse walked in at this point and asked, "Do you need me to check you, sweetie?" {nodding head up and down}.
1.5 centimeters after FOUR hours. W-H-A-T??!!? Noooooooooooo! I mean, there are no words. How? Is this a joke? You have got to be kidding!?!?! I'm feeling like this had got to be near the end and just, whaaaat?
{Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Focus.}
An epidural is out of the question, so I just have to keep going. "Can I start the pitocin, PLEASE?", I somehow managed to get out between my teeth chattering and contractions. I'm not sure the how {if she had to ask the doctor} or the how long {time stands still during labor}, but she came through for me.
By 4:15 a.m. I was having no break between contractions. I desperately wanted them to break my water. With the boys, once my water was broken, they were all out within an hour. My nurse found a midwife to check me and I was only 2.5 centimeters. You know those moments when you desperately want to give up on something, but it's just not an option.... yeah, just... that. I was dying. I still don't quite understand their reasoning, but because of Eva's gestation, they would not break my water until I got to 4-5 centimeters. At this rate, it wasn't ever gonna happen. I die.
At this point my nurse said, "okay, we are just gonna crank this pitocin up and get this baby out." {Nodding head up and down} I was all for it. I just wanted her OUT.
She did at that point ask me if I wanted some sort of pain medication through my IV. "I know you don't want an epidural, but is there anything I can give you to take the edge off a bit? Morphine? It should kick right in." I shook my head yes.
The morphine did not kick right in. In fact, it was probably 45 minutes until I noticed anything. Even then, it did not give me any relief from the pain, but kinda just gave me a buzz. I. was. spaced. out. So much so that between contractions - whether that was 15 seconds or 30 seconds - I seriously fell asleep. I mean, is it possible to fall asleep that quickly or for that short amount of time? Well, it felt like I did anyway. And I was exhausted to the core as it was. I guess at one point {from what Dusty tells me} I was staring out the window. He asked, "what are you looking at?" "The trees." And then I said, "I. like. morphine."
Ha! And apparently I asked for more later... but you can only get one dose ;)
At some point I moved back to the birthing ball. I felt like I couldn't lay down, I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand... nothing felt good. So I sat on the ball by the edge of the bed and 3 pillows on my lap and just rested my head while Dusty rubbed by back and talked me through each contraction...for hours. For the last couple of hours the contraction monitor didn't go below 90. The graph will not show over 100, but my numbers were going up to 180-190 so instead of the little bumps you see on the monitor, there was just a straight line running across the top. Yeah. D-Y-I-N-G.
At 10:45 a.m. my parents had just landed in San Diego and my dad asked for an update. I said, "idk. waiting to be checked." I was still on the birthing ball at this point.
Sometime later, an angel entered my room. She was the doctor that ended up delivering the baby. She was the nicest, sweetest, most soft spoken person in the world and she was exactly what I needed at that point. "Sweetie, I hear you want your water broken. Is this what you want?" "Yessss!", I said with tears streaming down my cheeks. "Okay, as soon as you can, let's get you up on the bed so I can check you. Is that okay?" {nodding head, yes.}
Somehow I made it on the bed. She checked me and I was at 6 centimeters. Praise the Lord. "Okay sweetie, I am going to break your water now, okay?" {tears, head nodding, shaking, trying to survive at this point}
Success. Water broken. This is one of those experiences that I don't really know how to describe. It's weird. For a moment it feels like relief and then it instantaneously increases the pain.... and I mean, how is this even possible?! "Okay sweetie, it shouldn't be too much longer now. You just call me as soon as you need me."
Angel doctor leaves the room.
{Contraction}
"I. need. to. push."
Dusty and my nurse, both at once, "You CANNOT push right now, sweetie!!!"
"I. NEED. TO. PUSH."
{The nurse runs to get the doctor}
{Doctor enters the room}
{Doctor rechecks me, quickly}
{Breaks down the bed}
{Nurse begins paging a hundred people to get in my room}
{A hundred people enter my room}
{My head feels like it's spinning. Everything hurts. Tears, tears, and more tears. I still cannot talk}
"Hold on, sweetie. You have to wait a minute...."
{Me, shaking my head no. My body has a mind of it's own at this point.}
Okay, pause. So, I love that they tell you you CANNOT push. You cannot control it at this point. It just happens. What do you even mean?!?! Resume.
"Okay sweetie, whenever you are ready... you just do what your body tells you to do. You got this. On your next contraction, you can push."
{More tears. Shaking my head, "okay."}
{Push}{Push}{Push}
11:36 a.m. - And there she was... the most beautiful, tiniest baby girl I had ever seen...
{to be continued...}
see posts one and two here:
part one
part two
I told Dusty, "that man is NOT delivering this baby."
By 9:45 p.m. - within thirty minutes of receiving the medication from Dr. Rude - my contractions were already three minutes apart. I am thinking - YES! This is gonna go fast.
I was optimistic throughout my entire pregnancy that this would be my fastest and easiest labor yet. My labors with all three boys were twelve hours start to finish. Keep in mind that having to be induced, my body was no where near ready for labor. So from beginning pitocin to delivery of a baby, that's not so bad.
With Eva, things had already been progressing. With it being my 4th pregnancy, I had been having a ton of contractions, she was already super low, and at my appointment before I went in for my induction, I had already dilated a tiny bit. Not much, but it was at least something. We also knew that she would be small based on the ultrasound I had had two weeks prior. So all that being said, I just knew this was going to be a breeze.
Umm, no. Try longest and most painful labor yet.
I had told the nurse from the get go that I did not want an epidural and to please not ask me or pressure me to get one. I had a nurse do this while in labor with Silas and I finally just caved at the very end. It did not work. Again, with Eli, the same happened. I felt every single bit of it and the epidural didn't kick in until after he was already out. Eli had to be taken immediately to the NICU and because I had so much medication pumped into me and couldn't walk, it was about 6 hours until I could even see him. I never wanted this to happen again. With Jeremiah, I finally learned my lesson and just did it! It was by far my best experience after labor. I hate feeling drugged and unable to feel the lower half of my body. It's just unnerving. Knowing that Eva was a 36 weeker, I wanted to be able to be up and about just in case. I was determined to go all natural again. My nurse could not have been more supportive of this and was so amazing from start to finish.
The contractions were intense from the get go. Determined to get baby girl out, I wanted to be up as much as possible instead of laying in the bed. I sat on the birthing ball for awhile and then tried standing. Granted at this point, I was super tired {remember, I had not slept the night before}. I was also famished. All I had eaten that day was an english muffin. {okay, another side tangent. The heartburn this pregnancy was unreal. On top of the nausea and very little appetite anyway, when I did eat, I had the worst heartburn ever. I mean, grapes gave me heartburn. There was no relief, no matter how many tums I inhaled. So, after eating said english muffin and my insides began burning all the way up to my throat, I knew I didn't want to be in labor dying from heartburn}. So of course, I was beginning to feel really weak. All they could offer me was clear liquids and jello. So, I asked for some apple juice and jello and inhaled it between contractions to try to get some energy. And I must've been STARVING because that was the best jello I have ever had in my life. I wanted to ask her to just bring me twenty of them.
I got to the point where I needed to get back in bed. I was shivering, shaking, and tears were streaming down my face. {Breathe, focus, breathe.} The contractions were getting more and more intense and closer and closer together. During labor - and this is true for all of my labors - I literally cannot speak. I remember after I had Eli I apologized to the nurse thinking it had been crazy or something. She said, "sweetie, you didn't say a word." It's true. Dusty will try to talk to me and it's like I physically cannot speak. It's all I can do to shake my head up and down. So my nurse walked in at this point and asked, "Do you need me to check you, sweetie?" {nodding head up and down}.
1.5 centimeters after FOUR hours. W-H-A-T??!!? Noooooooooooo! I mean, there are no words. How? Is this a joke? You have got to be kidding!?!?! I'm feeling like this had got to be near the end and just, whaaaat?
{Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Focus.}
An epidural is out of the question, so I just have to keep going. "Can I start the pitocin, PLEASE?", I somehow managed to get out between my teeth chattering and contractions. I'm not sure the how {if she had to ask the doctor} or the how long {time stands still during labor}, but she came through for me.
By 4:15 a.m. I was having no break between contractions. I desperately wanted them to break my water. With the boys, once my water was broken, they were all out within an hour. My nurse found a midwife to check me and I was only 2.5 centimeters. You know those moments when you desperately want to give up on something, but it's just not an option.... yeah, just... that. I was dying. I still don't quite understand their reasoning, but because of Eva's gestation, they would not break my water until I got to 4-5 centimeters. At this rate, it wasn't ever gonna happen. I die.
At this point my nurse said, "okay, we are just gonna crank this pitocin up and get this baby out." {Nodding head up and down} I was all for it. I just wanted her OUT.
She did at that point ask me if I wanted some sort of pain medication through my IV. "I know you don't want an epidural, but is there anything I can give you to take the edge off a bit? Morphine? It should kick right in." I shook my head yes.
The morphine did not kick right in. In fact, it was probably 45 minutes until I noticed anything. Even then, it did not give me any relief from the pain, but kinda just gave me a buzz. I. was. spaced. out. So much so that between contractions - whether that was 15 seconds or 30 seconds - I seriously fell asleep. I mean, is it possible to fall asleep that quickly or for that short amount of time? Well, it felt like I did anyway. And I was exhausted to the core as it was. I guess at one point {from what Dusty tells me} I was staring out the window. He asked, "what are you looking at?" "The trees." And then I said, "I. like. morphine."
Ha! And apparently I asked for more later... but you can only get one dose ;)
At some point I moved back to the birthing ball. I felt like I couldn't lay down, I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand... nothing felt good. So I sat on the ball by the edge of the bed and 3 pillows on my lap and just rested my head while Dusty rubbed by back and talked me through each contraction...for hours. For the last couple of hours the contraction monitor didn't go below 90. The graph will not show over 100, but my numbers were going up to 180-190 so instead of the little bumps you see on the monitor, there was just a straight line running across the top. Yeah. D-Y-I-N-G.
At 10:45 a.m. my parents had just landed in San Diego and my dad asked for an update. I said, "idk. waiting to be checked." I was still on the birthing ball at this point.
Sometime later, an angel entered my room. She was the doctor that ended up delivering the baby. She was the nicest, sweetest, most soft spoken person in the world and she was exactly what I needed at that point. "Sweetie, I hear you want your water broken. Is this what you want?" "Yessss!", I said with tears streaming down my cheeks. "Okay, as soon as you can, let's get you up on the bed so I can check you. Is that okay?" {nodding head, yes.}
Somehow I made it on the bed. She checked me and I was at 6 centimeters. Praise the Lord. "Okay sweetie, I am going to break your water now, okay?" {tears, head nodding, shaking, trying to survive at this point}
Success. Water broken. This is one of those experiences that I don't really know how to describe. It's weird. For a moment it feels like relief and then it instantaneously increases the pain.... and I mean, how is this even possible?! "Okay sweetie, it shouldn't be too much longer now. You just call me as soon as you need me."
Angel doctor leaves the room.
{Contraction}
"I. need. to. push."
Dusty and my nurse, both at once, "You CANNOT push right now, sweetie!!!"
"I. NEED. TO. PUSH."
{The nurse runs to get the doctor}
{Doctor enters the room}
{Doctor rechecks me, quickly}
{Breaks down the bed}
{Nurse begins paging a hundred people to get in my room}
{A hundred people enter my room}
{My head feels like it's spinning. Everything hurts. Tears, tears, and more tears. I still cannot talk}
"Hold on, sweetie. You have to wait a minute...."
{Me, shaking my head no. My body has a mind of it's own at this point.}
Okay, pause. So, I love that they tell you you CANNOT push. You cannot control it at this point. It just happens. What do you even mean?!?! Resume.
"Okay sweetie, whenever you are ready... you just do what your body tells you to do. You got this. On your next contraction, you can push."
{More tears. Shaking my head, "okay."}
{Push}{Push}{Push}
11:36 a.m. - And there she was... the most beautiful, tiniest baby girl I had ever seen...
{to be continued...}
![](https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=http://abeautifulcrown.blogspot.com/2017/01/the-story-of-eva-louise-part-three.html&media=https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRqhtEiOz44pO_FevCU0OH8EiY9HPxkbj-ToCbZ8V-8FFVRGLveLdqxMwVY_W6Gr-m2QZL8Ifuxkq15EmJb9PO_igqyHhXzrbIjZ2lADm91QCtOAt3oagvEkrNHW_JEx8fDSaEoFbtF0zZ/s72-c/IMG_5244.JPG&description={continued} see posts one and two here: part one part two I told Dusty, " that man is NOT delivering this baby. " By 9:45 ...){kind=link}
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