the end of an era.
I did it.
This morning, in a moment, I tossed every single baby bottle in the trash. I hadn't planned on doing it in that instant, I just happened to be unloading the dishwasher. I did it quickly and didn't look back or try to process I was doing, otherwise, I would have been in tears.
I know it's ridiculous I still had a bottle in my house to begin with. However, after 20 months of breastfeeding, a bottle was the only possible way to wean my baby from me. Previously, he was a bottle snob and absolutely refused one... that is, until there was no other option. But boy did he become attached to it. I'd hate to admit he was still drinking at least 3-4 bottles a day. Sad, I know.
{I hang my head in shame}
I quit him cold turkey on Sunday. That's typically how I do things. I just can't deal with the mess in between and simply cut things off. That's how I weaned all three of my boys {miserably, I might add}, how I potty trained my boys, how I function, really. Once I make my mind up, it's set. That's probably not always healthy, but how I deal, nonetheless.
So, as I'm sitting here thinking about my poor JJ and how emotional and clingy he's been this week, my heart about breaks as it just dawned on me that I ripped away his little security blanket with no warning or explanation. He cannot possibly understand what happened or why. {Parent fail} I had a major freak out and concern over a couple of his teeth that I abruptly made the decision that the bottle would be no more. Turns out, after his first dental appointment Wednesday, he is cavity free and just had a tiny bit of plaque that was scraped off said teeth that were concerning to me. {Side note, Silas and Eli had very bad first dental experiences, so I just knew I had blown it with this bottle thing}{You know - don't let a baby go to sleep with a bottle...}{Mmm hmm.. yeah.}
Now that I'm processing the events of this past week, it's hitting me what actually happened. You know, Silas constantly reminds me that JJ is no longer a baby, as I do sometimes refer to him as baby. But really, he is a walking, talking person with a personality that is bigger than life. Other than the diapers, there is nothing "baby" about him. No matter what, he did still look like a baby drinking his bottle at night. I know this is a giant step forward, a welcome and needed process, yet also an end of an era. So, I gotta take a mommy moment and mourn the end of this phase. That wonderful, cherished stage that only a mom can understand. I love, love, love my big boys. I adore their persons and what each brings to our family. I know I will look back on every stage with a million memories, and a tinge of sadness, but look forward to all that is ahead.
It's been an emotional week and I'm glad it's behind us. And, I'll be sure to give JJ even more extra snuggles when I pick him up from school today.
{I also just have to add - this gives me all the more reason not to judge other momma's. We are all going about our days trying to do our best. So those times when you see a 4 year old walking around with a pacifier or a 2 year old with a bottle - you really never know what or why. So, don't form an opinion. I never thought I'd have a 27 month old with a bottle. Buuuut, people also probably don't realize I fed him for 20 whole months and at the time, there was no other option. Sometimes you just do what you have to do to survive.}{the end.}
This morning, in a moment, I tossed every single baby bottle in the trash. I hadn't planned on doing it in that instant, I just happened to be unloading the dishwasher. I did it quickly and didn't look back or try to process I was doing, otherwise, I would have been in tears.
I know it's ridiculous I still had a bottle in my house to begin with. However, after 20 months of breastfeeding, a bottle was the only possible way to wean my baby from me. Previously, he was a bottle snob and absolutely refused one... that is, until there was no other option. But boy did he become attached to it. I'd hate to admit he was still drinking at least 3-4 bottles a day. Sad, I know.
{I hang my head in shame}
I quit him cold turkey on Sunday. That's typically how I do things. I just can't deal with the mess in between and simply cut things off. That's how I weaned all three of my boys {miserably, I might add}, how I potty trained my boys, how I function, really. Once I make my mind up, it's set. That's probably not always healthy, but how I deal, nonetheless.
So, as I'm sitting here thinking about my poor JJ and how emotional and clingy he's been this week, my heart about breaks as it just dawned on me that I ripped away his little security blanket with no warning or explanation. He cannot possibly understand what happened or why. {Parent fail} I had a major freak out and concern over a couple of his teeth that I abruptly made the decision that the bottle would be no more. Turns out, after his first dental appointment Wednesday, he is cavity free and just had a tiny bit of plaque that was scraped off said teeth that were concerning to me. {Side note, Silas and Eli had very bad first dental experiences, so I just knew I had blown it with this bottle thing}{You know - don't let a baby go to sleep with a bottle...}{Mmm hmm.. yeah.}
Now that I'm processing the events of this past week, it's hitting me what actually happened. You know, Silas constantly reminds me that JJ is no longer a baby, as I do sometimes refer to him as baby. But really, he is a walking, talking person with a personality that is bigger than life. Other than the diapers, there is nothing "baby" about him. No matter what, he did still look like a baby drinking his bottle at night. I know this is a giant step forward, a welcome and needed process, yet also an end of an era. So, I gotta take a mommy moment and mourn the end of this phase. That wonderful, cherished stage that only a mom can understand. I love, love, love my big boys. I adore their persons and what each brings to our family. I know I will look back on every stage with a million memories, and a tinge of sadness, but look forward to all that is ahead.
It's been an emotional week and I'm glad it's behind us. And, I'll be sure to give JJ even more extra snuggles when I pick him up from school today.
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| {above & below} We've had a lot of extra JJ & mommy time this week. |
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| Waiting patiently at the dentist. |
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| Last night we went to Dusty's work. He saw his shadow and proclaimed, "MOMMY! There's PETER PAN!!! I get my shadow!!" |
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| brothers being all sweet! |
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