on mother's day...
I always knew I wanted to be a mom. Yet, I never knew the ways in which it would change me, grow me, stretch me, and challenge me on the daily. I did not understand a love like this.
I didn't know it was possible to love something so deeply. I didn't know it was possible for one person to worry so very much. You dream every dream for them, you fight every imaginable fear, you want to protect them from any and all pain and yet somehow prepare them for this great adventure of life.
First, you gotta grow them. And that is a heck of a job in and of itself. It's beautiful and miraculous. Then comes the indescribable moment you get to meet them. To this day, four of my most vivid and cherished memories. And so the stages begin - the fleeting, exhausting, yet oh so glorious newborn days to as far as I've gotten so far - the preteen stage. It's all the best. I really could not pick a favorite, because I love seeing each of my children learn and grow and see who they are becoming.
Some days are easy and fun. Other days, I wonder if I'm screwing it all up. Some are filled with ice cream and the beach, while others are filled with completing homework, running errands, or putting on a bandaid or two. The saying "the days are long but the years are short" is probably the truest statement I've ever heard. Sometimes it feels as though I can literally hear the clock ticking as the time is passing ever so quickly. Which is all the more reason why I can appreciate the well meaning things people tell you when you're about to embark on parenthood - enjoy it. A quote I am learning to love is, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." That could not be more true. As much as I sometimes think back to past days, I know I wouldn't be sitting where I am today were it possible to hold onto time. I would've missed so much and I know there's so much more to come.
So today, I am thankful for my eleven year journey as a mom and await the many years to come.
To Silas - You're the smartest eleven year old I know. I love your sense of humor, your wit, and even how you know so much more than me. I love joking around with you and that you're my shot gun rider. I love our jokes, how we can just lock eyes and get each other, and how you always give me a hug, a kiss, and say "I love you." I love how protective you are of your brothers and sister. I love your fascination with learning. If you believe in yourself, you will be unstoppable. My prayer for you is that you will see your God given talents (your mind) and use it for His glory. I pray you will learn to be confident, yet humble and use that genius in you to change the world.
To Eli Jackson - You have the biggest heart in the world. I love your innocence, your capacity to love, and how you just take your time (okay, maybe not when I'm trying to get out the door, but ya know.. the idea to just enjoy the world around you!) You are often few with your words, but you are brilliant. I completely get you, because you and I are so.very.much.alike. My prayer for you is that you will use that giant heart of yours to serve God. I pray that gentle, compassionate spirit of yours will learn to be bold and confident to share it with the world.
To JJ - Oh, my little buddy. You are so full of life, and fun, and emotion. You are walking entertainment. I love how you use the biggest words, in the biggest sentences, and always in the right context. I love that I always know what you're thinking (because you always let us know), and I adore your playful spirit. I love that you exceptionally rose to the occasion of being a big brother and how you adore your queen Eva. I love your joy - you are infectious. My prayer for you is that you direct that zest for life and endless amounts of energy into serving God and others. I pray you use those amazing people skills for the good.
To Eva - Baby girl. I have the pleasure to get to know you more and more each day. Your little personality is only beginning to shine. You have an ear to ear grin that lights up the room and the cutest little voice ever. My favorite thing is when you start to "talk" and tell all your sweet stories. I love how you so often look up at me and we lock eyes and I can just dream of who you will be. My prayer for you is that you will love God with all your heart. I pray you will know that you are loved beyond measure and that we will help you see your God given gifts as you grow. I cannot wait to explore life with you.
I didn't know it was possible to love something so deeply. I didn't know it was possible for one person to worry so very much. You dream every dream for them, you fight every imaginable fear, you want to protect them from any and all pain and yet somehow prepare them for this great adventure of life.
First, you gotta grow them. And that is a heck of a job in and of itself. It's beautiful and miraculous. Then comes the indescribable moment you get to meet them. To this day, four of my most vivid and cherished memories. And so the stages begin - the fleeting, exhausting, yet oh so glorious newborn days to as far as I've gotten so far - the preteen stage. It's all the best. I really could not pick a favorite, because I love seeing each of my children learn and grow and see who they are becoming.
Some days are easy and fun. Other days, I wonder if I'm screwing it all up. Some are filled with ice cream and the beach, while others are filled with completing homework, running errands, or putting on a bandaid or two. The saying "the days are long but the years are short" is probably the truest statement I've ever heard. Sometimes it feels as though I can literally hear the clock ticking as the time is passing ever so quickly. Which is all the more reason why I can appreciate the well meaning things people tell you when you're about to embark on parenthood - enjoy it. A quote I am learning to love is, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." That could not be more true. As much as I sometimes think back to past days, I know I wouldn't be sitting where I am today were it possible to hold onto time. I would've missed so much and I know there's so much more to come.
So today, I am thankful for my eleven year journey as a mom and await the many years to come.
To Silas - You're the smartest eleven year old I know. I love your sense of humor, your wit, and even how you know so much more than me. I love joking around with you and that you're my shot gun rider. I love our jokes, how we can just lock eyes and get each other, and how you always give me a hug, a kiss, and say "I love you." I love how protective you are of your brothers and sister. I love your fascination with learning. If you believe in yourself, you will be unstoppable. My prayer for you is that you will see your God given talents (your mind) and use it for His glory. I pray you will learn to be confident, yet humble and use that genius in you to change the world.
To Eli Jackson - You have the biggest heart in the world. I love your innocence, your capacity to love, and how you just take your time (okay, maybe not when I'm trying to get out the door, but ya know.. the idea to just enjoy the world around you!) You are often few with your words, but you are brilliant. I completely get you, because you and I are so.very.much.alike. My prayer for you is that you will use that giant heart of yours to serve God. I pray that gentle, compassionate spirit of yours will learn to be bold and confident to share it with the world.
To JJ - Oh, my little buddy. You are so full of life, and fun, and emotion. You are walking entertainment. I love how you use the biggest words, in the biggest sentences, and always in the right context. I love that I always know what you're thinking (because you always let us know), and I adore your playful spirit. I love that you exceptionally rose to the occasion of being a big brother and how you adore your queen Eva. I love your joy - you are infectious. My prayer for you is that you direct that zest for life and endless amounts of energy into serving God and others. I pray you use those amazing people skills for the good.
To Eva - Baby girl. I have the pleasure to get to know you more and more each day. Your little personality is only beginning to shine. You have an ear to ear grin that lights up the room and the cutest little voice ever. My favorite thing is when you start to "talk" and tell all your sweet stories. I love how you so often look up at me and we lock eyes and I can just dream of who you will be. My prayer for you is that you will love God with all your heart. I pray you will know that you are loved beyond measure and that we will help you see your God given gifts as you grow. I cannot wait to explore life with you.
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