life, as I go.
The older I get, I feel the more emotional I've become. I'm telling you, I can cry at the drop of a hat. Maybe because as I've lived, that is, truly experienced life - the good, the bad, the ugly - it's given me perspective. Raw perspective.
As I think back on my childhood and as I now watch moments through the eyes of my children, I see such beauty in the innocence, the naivety, that comes with being a child. The things that were so big to me then seem so miniscule in comparison now. But as I've experienced life in all that it entails, I know that it is a beautiful picture of not only where I've been, but who I'm becoming, and who I am yet to be. I am a work in progress, as God is continually molding and growing me through each and every experience. It's not always pretty. It's not always easy. But, it's a beautiful mess, nonetheless.
Life has been a whirlwind lately. There have been moments I have felt like I just can't catch my breath. I often think to myself that I'm in the thick of it and can easily resort to feeling isolated and alone in that. Perhaps sometimes we just want someone to feel with us. Or experience with us. Which, I believe, is exactly what God created us for - to experience and live life together. But too often it can be easier to be so caught up in our own little world, that we miss so much around us in the process. God has been bringing these things to the forefront of my mind lately as I go.
I've experienced joy. I had the privilege of watching my brother propose. He "casually" sent me a photo of an engagement ring a few weeks back when I asked how his relationship was going. The scheming went from there. He wanted me to take photos of the proposal and did everything in my power to figure out how I could be there. I made it happen, and was so glad I did. I don't even know how to describe the moment other than it being one of the most beautiful moments I've yet to experience. My heart was racing, as I had a job to do - take priceless photos of said moment. All the while I was bombarded with a flurry of emotions. I was overwhelmed to see my brother so happy. I was overjoyed to see this act of love between two people being brought together. I saw restoration. It was simply a beautiful image of healing that God faithfully brought about. The past couple of years have been filled with a lot of pain for him and our family, but God was still there in the midst of it and in that moment was restoring it.
I've experienced empathy. There's a little girl at our school that just breaks my heart. Without getting into her story or my reasonings why, I saw her sitting the other day with a tear streaming down her face. Instead of letting the moment pass, I walked over to her. I knelt down, looked her in the eye, and spoke to her. I gave her a hug. I engaged with her for only a few minutes, but it honestly made my day. Before I left she wiped her tears and said, "thank you Mrs. Melissa." It didn't take much from me to do this, but I can tell you it meant something to her - and I was so blessed in return.
I've seen pain. I know many people who really are in the thick of it dealing with loved ones that are sick or near death. I don't believe there's any way to ever be prepared or ready for this. I know there's not much one can do or say and certainly nothing will make it better. But still, you do what you can - whether that's listening, asking how they are doing, or just praying.
I so do not have a handle on this. It's easier for me to just keep a guard up. Protect myself from feeling. I know if I let up just a little, I will most certainly lose it. I want to feel and yet I don't. Some things are easier left unknown. We only have to deal with what we can see, right? So better to be oblivious to the people around us? Certainly not.
My challenge in all this is to see where God can take me if I really trust Him - if I really let go of my tight grip. I will mostly likely never be an in your face kind of person. I will probably always be the person in the background looking for ways to help. But as long as I am actively open and seeking after ways in which God can use me, then there's no place I'd rather be.
My desire is to see where God can use me as I go about my life. Opportunities are everywhere, if I'm looking.
As I think back on my childhood and as I now watch moments through the eyes of my children, I see such beauty in the innocence, the naivety, that comes with being a child. The things that were so big to me then seem so miniscule in comparison now. But as I've experienced life in all that it entails, I know that it is a beautiful picture of not only where I've been, but who I'm becoming, and who I am yet to be. I am a work in progress, as God is continually molding and growing me through each and every experience. It's not always pretty. It's not always easy. But, it's a beautiful mess, nonetheless.
Life has been a whirlwind lately. There have been moments I have felt like I just can't catch my breath. I often think to myself that I'm in the thick of it and can easily resort to feeling isolated and alone in that. Perhaps sometimes we just want someone to feel with us. Or experience with us. Which, I believe, is exactly what God created us for - to experience and live life together. But too often it can be easier to be so caught up in our own little world, that we miss so much around us in the process. God has been bringing these things to the forefront of my mind lately as I go.
I've experienced joy. I had the privilege of watching my brother propose. He "casually" sent me a photo of an engagement ring a few weeks back when I asked how his relationship was going. The scheming went from there. He wanted me to take photos of the proposal and did everything in my power to figure out how I could be there. I made it happen, and was so glad I did. I don't even know how to describe the moment other than it being one of the most beautiful moments I've yet to experience. My heart was racing, as I had a job to do - take priceless photos of said moment. All the while I was bombarded with a flurry of emotions. I was overwhelmed to see my brother so happy. I was overjoyed to see this act of love between two people being brought together. I saw restoration. It was simply a beautiful image of healing that God faithfully brought about. The past couple of years have been filled with a lot of pain for him and our family, but God was still there in the midst of it and in that moment was restoring it.
I've experienced empathy. There's a little girl at our school that just breaks my heart. Without getting into her story or my reasonings why, I saw her sitting the other day with a tear streaming down her face. Instead of letting the moment pass, I walked over to her. I knelt down, looked her in the eye, and spoke to her. I gave her a hug. I engaged with her for only a few minutes, but it honestly made my day. Before I left she wiped her tears and said, "thank you Mrs. Melissa." It didn't take much from me to do this, but I can tell you it meant something to her - and I was so blessed in return.
I've seen pain. I know many people who really are in the thick of it dealing with loved ones that are sick or near death. I don't believe there's any way to ever be prepared or ready for this. I know there's not much one can do or say and certainly nothing will make it better. But still, you do what you can - whether that's listening, asking how they are doing, or just praying.
I so do not have a handle on this. It's easier for me to just keep a guard up. Protect myself from feeling. I know if I let up just a little, I will most certainly lose it. I want to feel and yet I don't. Some things are easier left unknown. We only have to deal with what we can see, right? So better to be oblivious to the people around us? Certainly not.
My challenge in all this is to see where God can take me if I really trust Him - if I really let go of my tight grip. I will mostly likely never be an in your face kind of person. I will probably always be the person in the background looking for ways to help. But as long as I am actively open and seeking after ways in which God can use me, then there's no place I'd rather be.
My desire is to see where God can use me as I go about my life. Opportunities are everywhere, if I'm looking.
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| I have no words for this photo - I mean, it makes my heart smile. |
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| With this photo is a story. A beautiful story of love. I feel like it holds a piece of me. A little back story - Dusty's grandfather, Papa, is in the hospital right now and has been the past three weeks. Things are uncertain, yet we are still hopeful and trusting. There's not much I can do, but this is a gift I wanted to give. Every Christmas we take an annual great grandkid photo. This year, I had this thought. For some reason, I was thinking of how Grandma and Papa used to give us sweatshirts every Christmas - a tradition I joined in on when I married Dusty. Every year, we knew there would be a sweatshirt. One year they were numbered 1 through 9, for the 9 grandsons. I thought - wouldn't this be cool to do for the greats? I thought about how he loved baseball. I contacted my t-shirt vendor and asked a huge favor of him. I asked if he would be willing to do a trade with me - these shirts, for a photo session. Thankfully, he agreed and made these beautiful shirts and hats and got them to me. They say G&P's All Stars, and est. on 3-24-57 - their anniversary. I had this image in my mind of the I wanted. There were 4 shots I had in mind and amazingly, the kids were pros. I honestly thing it was a God thing, because in no real life scenario should 16 kids have cooperated for these photos. But they did. I was overwhelmed at the visual this represents. Sixteen great-grandkids. The only thing I could think was - what a legacy. It honestly brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. All because two people stayed committed. Two people valued their family. Two people loved. It's inspirational. |
1 Comments
You have always had such a special heart for others and looked for ways to encourage others. Thank you for sharing your gift through photography, capturing life's moments on canvas. I love you.
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